We just celebrated that special religious holiday to which everyone looks forward, and we know what
it is
because we see all the Christmas trees on display on stores: Halloween.
Somehow America skipped over the
fact that Halloween is a Christian celebration, something those secularists who
so greatly fear they attempt to rid the world of baby Jesus, but plow full
steam ahead for “the sake of the kids.”
We took religion out of the
schools for “the sake of the kids.” Now
it is fashionable to put it back into the schools so that everyone can be
jealous of the other kid’s costumes.
But, I digress.
In the vein of “the sake of the
kids,” I was concerned about their health and well-being. I have been bombarded with news about too
much this or too much that and how it can all be bad for the kids.
One city actually attempted to
ban Halloween altogether because someone’s child was allergic to peanuts. It seems this rug rat’s mother was so
successful in getting snacks eliminated from school, for the benefit of her
kid, she wanted to flex her maternal muscles and show everyone how much clout
she possessed.
Thank God other sane parents
said, “ENOUGH!!!” If your kids are
allergic to peanuts, keep them home.
Don’t penalize the rest of society.
If your kid can’t play soccer
because of lack of athletic skills, don’t eliminate sports. Tell your kid to take up knitting or
cheerleading.
In any case, I tried to help out
the kids and their parents by offering gluten-free snacks in the form of celery
sticks and baby carrots.
Of course it was a popular and
healthy contribution. I also offered
tofu, but they seemed to opt for the veggie stuff. Good boys and girls, indeed.
My sainted wife, on the other
hand, passed out gluten-filled pretzels, much to my chagrin. She and a neighbor actually tried to get one
of the kids to go home and get crab dip to assemble a party. No luck, though.
Still the children arrived to
grab treats wholesale. There were
fairies, Star Wars characters, several Grim Reapers, a starlet, two soldiers
who weren’t deployed to Iraq
Four guys with beards appeared,
too. Thinking they were the Duck Dynasty
fellows, I complimented them on their costumes.
They were actually just too old for kiddie activities like ‘trick or
treating,’ and their facial hair was real. They would have preferred a cold beer instead
of celery.
Yet, the kids had great luck
while their parents enjoyed themselves hobnobbing with the neighbors.
All was well on The Eastern
Shore. And I kept the Reese’s cups for
myself.
