Learning Something New

The Jeff Rodgers

Every once in a while we receive material from outside sources that needs fit special criteria in order to make it onto our selective site.  Since those criteria are extremely hard to achieve, there has never been one to make its way to the point of public viewing.

 

Those goals include the information must be interesting, verifiable, and family-oriented. 

 

A few weeks ago, I got a snail-mail letter from an acquaintance.  Well, he’s more than an acquaintance; more like a friend.  He’s not a best friend.  He’s a good friend.  Well, I’ve had dinner at his house so, he’s a pretty good friend.  And, we had steak and great conversation.  He’s a great friend and correspondent.  But, I digress.

 

That envelope contained a newspaper article that was interesting enough, verifiable, and family-oriented.  In its original form it truly is clean but, I needed to edit it with synonyms to both keep it clean and add humor.  Read on and you’ll understand.

 

The article headline reads: “Largest fossilized poop exhibit coming to Bradenton museum.”

 

Yep.

 

Now do you see where this is going?

 

A sub heading reads: “Amazing Coprolite Collection to be on display for National Fossil Day Saturday.”

 

The amazing part for me was there is a National Fossil Day.  The fact it is held in Florida makes sense since it is primarily comprised of fossils driving Buicks.

 

But, I also had to look up “coprolite,” as I had never run across that word before.  Ever.

 

It seems coprolite is Greek for “dung stone,” which means there was enough of it lying about for an entire nationality of people to invent a word for it.

 

“Hey, Nikko!  Did you see that pile of coprolite near the Parthenon?” is what I imagine Ajax yelling across the Acropolis.

 

“Now’s a good time to tell me.  Yuk!” replies Ajax, while scraping off his sandal.

 

In any case, The Amazing Coprolite Collection, which this is, includes 1,277 individual pieces of fossilized poop, certified by Guinness World Records.  These precious samples came from 15 states in the United States, according to this Herald Staff report. 

 

The part they left out was that 973 of them were collected from my lawn and originally placed their by neighborhood dogs.  Thanks!

 

Jeff Rodgers is the South Florida Museum Director of Education who has a collection of his own, and is “especially enthusiastic about this special exhibition.”

 

The really good news that on that special Saturday, admission to this bonanza of poop was “less than half-price: $9 for adults, $8 for seniors, and $7 for kids.”  Sorry we got this too late to make an attendance difference.

 

Nonetheless, Jeff added that seeing crocodilian coprolites and spirals of fossilized fish poop was what he considered “a good day at work.”  You bet.

 

This guy really knows his $#!+, and he has a $#!++4 job.

 

I just had to do it.