Here’s another round of the ever-popular Random Thoughts. Please enjoy this list and feel free to share it with your friends and enemies.
- If
- Newspapers should change their names to Collusion and Impeachment Rags.
- We need to invent a word that rhymes with “orange.”
- Why does a Hyundai resemble the Jaguar?
- How does one milk an almond? They don’t have teats.
- President Trump is referred to as Racist, Bigot, Misogynist, and Stupid; why wasn’t President Obama referred to as a Post Turtle?
- Nothing rhymes with “silver,” either.
- I detest mimes.
- Without the Second Amendment, you wouldn’t have the First Amendment.
- I prefer my grapes in a bottle with a cork.
- Brainwashing is alive and well in the climate change arena.
- Thank God for Greta Thunberg; suddenly I look intelligent.
- Who writes and approves new television shows? They should be embarrassed.
- Does anyone really care if a pumpkin is a squash?
- President Donald Trump is the BEST.
- If Adam Schiff doesn’t take medications, he should.
- The Accomack County Sheriff’s Office puts the stupid employees on the phone.
- Is CNN still on the air?
- I carry a gun because it’s so much easier than carrying a cop.
- Vote the Senate and House deadwood out of office. Forty-years are much too long to grow roots.
- Why does Glock have 39 versions of the same pistol?
- Thank goodness for syphilis; it actually makes Jerry Nadler appear palatable.
- I no longer engage in fantasy football; I now wager on the Democratic presidential nomination.
- Hooray for Elizabeth Warren! Take all of Bernie Sanders’ and Michael Bloomberg’s money!
- I still hate mimes.
- Why do cemeteries have fences and locked gates?
- If cannibals ate a clown, would it taste funny?
- Joe Biden has been in government for 46-years, Bernie Sanders for 29, and Liz Warren 19. That proves the government is designed to hire the unhireable,
- The New York Giants should start playing baseball; they might be better at that sport.
- If you want to be a vegetarian, great. Leave me alone, though.
- Where would one buy a stripper pole?
- Why would I buy an electric car? I can’t keep a battery in my non-electric car.
- I believe the Democratic Party should change its name to Angry Nitwits Party.
- Former President Barack Hussein Obama looks stupider every day.
- Saint
Hillary Clinton should have her portrait carved into
- I was kidding about the previous point.
- Whatever you want to make me aware of, I’m not interested in. Thanks, though.
- Is Maxine Waters still alive? If so, is she lucid?
- Why are there cooking schools? My wife never attended one and cooks just great.
- God bless President Donald Trump!
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| Post Turtle Barack Obama He doesn't belong there, and no one knows how he got there. |
