I Be Mistaken

In 1980, a movie hit the big screen that parodied all the disaster films of the ‘70’s.  This particular one is Airplane!, which a quarter century later is still being quoted for some of the funniest lines.

In one scene, the passengers discover they were served tainted fish, and are now concerned about their well-being.  Barbara Billingsly – the mother on Leave It To Beaver – winds up being the interpreter for the following urban slang conversation:

First Jive Dude:
Shit man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?

Second Jive Dude:
Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.

First Jive Dude:
I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?

Second Jive Dude:
UH...

First Jive Dude:
Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.

Second Jive Dude:
Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.

First Jive Dude:
Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.

Second Jive Dude:
Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.

All this demonstrates that a simple conversation can quickly become indecipherable by invoking talk not widely used, or understood, by educated people.

The other day, a woman in the grocery store called me “fat.”  A cashier corrected me when she said I was called “phat.”

An ardent search for more urban words found a few amusing ones that deserve sharing for sympathy, if for nothing else.  Pay attention; you know who you are.

Ratchet:  a diva, especially one from an urban area or of lower socioeconomic status, who incorrectly believes she is every man's dream

Rendezbooze — a designated time and place to drink with a group of friends

Typeractive — someone who's overly talkative in emails or text

 

Karaoke filibuster — the act of preventing others from participating in karaoke by choosing an extraordinarily long song

 

Ludwigvanquixote — someone who is fanatical, especially someone with delusions of grandeur or Chicken Little-type paranoia

 

Designated drunk — the individual who drinks all offers of free drinks sent to the designated driver

 

Earjacking — 1) eavesdropping on a conversation you have no business hearing; 2) forcing your friends to listen to (bad) music they don't want to hear

 

No thanks are necessary.  Please use these wisely, Grasshopper.

 

 

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