Once again it is time for more of these brain rattlers to
come pouring out in the form of “Random Thoughts.” Let’s visit these teasers together.
- Why do microwave ovens have lights that turn on while cooking?
- Too many shoppers confuse me for the doorman simply because I politely hold the door for them; now they don’t have to say, “Thank you.”
- It’s odd that no one in the current administration can use the word “terrorist.”
- Speaking of which, how do you say, “Hands up, don’t shoot!” in French?
- Is
there so much racial disparity in
- Why are all the marathons won by people from African nations?
- How is it that my guest sofa bed is the most comfortable in the world?
- Who gets to name things like the ‘polar vortex?’
- Don’t politicians know that they are on the public dole because they are incapable of making a living in the private sector?
- All those whiners that complain they can’t save for retirement, but buy motorcycles and go-carts as toys, deserve to live in squalor when they reach 65.
- Where is all the .22 LR ammunition?
- Rather than the mechanics of a condom, schools need to teach kids how to use a trash can.
- Why don’t any lamp timers keep time?
- Is it a law that every guy has to pee on the floor in a public bathroom?
- Do cats and dogs get bored eating the same dry crunchy food day-in and day-out?
- Why not give a breeding pair of extinct animals to farmers? They seem to be able to keep the chicken and beef populations in control and on grocery store shelves.
- It is so cold that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
- Why don’t stores retire those shopping carts with the wobbly wheels?
- “Tire rotation” is a bad term since they rotate automatically when you drive.
- How come a soldier can’t carry a gun while stateside, but can be trusted with all sorts of destructive devices elsewhere?
- If Canadians have such a great health care system, why do they come here for medical treatment?
- How did Americans get so stupid? Just channeling Jonathan Gruber’s thoughts.
- Santa Clau – er – President Obama wants to goad Congress into giving away free college educations. Where is this guy getting all this money?
- When
did the
- All vehicles are required, by law, to have air-bags but, they were purchased from a company that doesn’t make air-bags that work. Hmmm.
- Where is that Malaysian plane?
- Is Sears still in business? If so, it shouldn’t be.
- A string of LED Christmas lights – the ones that last 10,000 hours – is already kaput. They lied.
- If I have to wear a seatbelt for safety, why don’t motorcyclists have to wear helmets for safety?
- A fishing license doesn’t mean I know how to fish anymore than a driver’s license means you know how to drive.
- Those signs that say “Slower traffic keep right,” means your other right.
- I wonder if Lance Armstrong rides his bike to work.
