Every so often we come across words that are together, but
don’t necessarily go together. I mean
those ever-so-popular words such as “military intelligence,” “adult children,”
“bureaucratic efficiencies,” or “jumbo shrimp.”
Those are known as oxymorons.
No, no, no. You’re
thinking of that stuff that gets stains out of carpets and laundry – Oxyclean.
Oxymorons are compressed paradoxes that are often
entertaining and have crept into modern vocabulary to the point they are now
commonplace. Buffalo wings, chicken
fingers, boneless ribs, dry wine, and string cheese. Is it string or is it cheese?
Veggie hamburgers are impossibilities. Hamburger is made from beef; veggies are
not. Which is it?
Resident alien is likely one of the best oxymorons. If you are a resident, you are not an
alien. Amen.
And while you’re contemplating these examples of common-folk
attempting to sound intelligent, ponder over a glass of dry wine. I believe that would be dust.
A bird dog is not a bird.
A fox terrier is not a fox. An afghan hound cannot knit – usually.
One cannot be found missing, nor can they receive death
benefits. How many people are in a small
crowd?
I’m not certain a product can be “new and improved.” Pick one.
Perhaps someone could tell me what a quorum is for the
loners club.
Our beloved leader often takes working vacations. Now that’s perplexing.
Rap music. Need I say
more?
My head nearly caught fire when I heard of “synthetic
natural gas.” I beg your pardon!
Try making sense of civil war, near miss, and airline food.
Try as I might, I am still baffled by and how folks can have
phone sex. Phones don’t have genders. But, I digress.
A “tin ear?” Perhaps
on the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz.
Try mulling these over for a while, then submit your own for
future consideration in another story. Thanks
for reading! See you next week.
