Ever since I can remember I’ve heard about the uber-intelligence of children.
My parents were not the doting, bragging types one can easily find today. Rather, they were apologetic to friends, neighbors, and society-in-general, for their progenies.
In any case, these super smart kids of today that seem to appear everywhere are what I consider, of questionable intelligence.
Before casting judgment on me, allow me to plead my case.
About ten years ago, we heard stories about kids finding, then licking, toads. You read that right; Toads. Those critters that frolic in scummy ponds and bayous and rivers, were the subject of much of the news.
In the event you forgot, or missed this information back then, I’ll fill you in now. Although there are a variety of frogs and toads that are poisonous in nature, it’s the Cane Toad that had many people concerned.
The Cane Toad appears primarily in the South and can grow to be the size of a dinner plate. It excretes a milky substance on its back that is a poison that mimics a hallucinogenic drug when consumed by other animals or humans.
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| Rep. Jerrold Nadler imposter, Mr. Cane Toad |
It seems the aforementioned uber-intelligent children thought it would be a good idea to lick this milky poison off the backs of some Cane Toads to get high.
Unfortunately, some lickers have found themselves in hospital beds recovering from overdoses, while others died in their attempts to get stoned.
But those uber-intelligent children have crested new heights when they stumbled upon some inane activity called Parkour. Parkour, it seems, is a method of traveling around urban environments by means of swinging, jumping, running, climbing, etc.
It closely resembles the opening scenes of most action movies. People engaged in Parkour often challenge themselves with dangerous moves such as jumping from the roof of one building to another or swinging on clotheslines to achieve a personal rush.
In case you’re thinking to yourself, “That stuff sounds unsafe,” you’re right.
Not all Parkour participants appear to enroll in 401K or IRA plans, largely because many die while experiencing that special, personal rush of leaping off a bridge onto a semi on an interstate. Sounds exhilarating!
Still, their peers and parents are often aware of their activities, to which they usually turn blind eyes.
In case you don’t believe me, the interweb is chock full o’ videos clearly showing both the drive and stupidity of so many people; mostly young’uns who don’t know better, but should are featured therein, ready for viewing.
So it was with interest that my last year has been spent listening to one news broadcast after another, screaming about how society needs to protect and save our nation’s treasures – the children – from certain death from the Wuhan Flu.
Schools summarily shut down, activities ceased, summer camps and athletic clinics were canceled, school buses failed to run, and playgrounds were shuttered, all in the name of protecting the children.
To this day, angst, and its associated hand-wringing continue with school officials and administrators attempting to decide if and when school doors will open to welcome kids back for more learning.
Familiar TV doctors and scientists popped up in the news explaining how these draconian rules and regulations were designed to protect the children from acquiring COVID-19, as well as close friends, neighbors, family members, and classmates from spreading it.
Unfortunately, these strict measures appear to have psychologically damaged the children themselves. Now the schools are attempting to reopen with tight sanitary concerns along with mental health experts.
Here’s a thought from a non-doctor, non-scientist, and pretty much non-anything useful – me.
If you’re so concerned or worried about the safety of your kids, have a talk with them about not licking Cane Toads, or participating in Parkour, or any other activity that could be considered dangerous to them.
I’m just saying.
