If It Moves, Tax It!

It was many years ago when my Father died, but he was always quick to point out what was not necessarily obvious to the rest of the world.

He may have had a talent for reading people, or just a gift of seeing the future.  Nonetheless, he wound up being very prophetic with his words.

A daily newspaper reader, he would become irate over the stories detailing the politicians’ relentless challenge to see how much money they could extract from society.

We grew up in upstate New York, where the local pols would be just as content growing a third arm to better maneuver that third hand into your wallet pocket.

In any case, during one festive morning, Dad finished reading a story and, after lowering the newspaper to achieve better kitchen acoustics, blurted out, “Someday they’re going to charge you for air and water!”

Alas, he was correct.

Just before his passing a tire on his car needed air.  A stop at the service station revealed his prediction had come true; on that day he was going to buy air.

Livid, and rightly so, the world had crested the hill of “free,” and began its descent into paid nearly everything.

Suddenly, tap water – the stuff I used to during from a filthy garden hose – was no longer safe.  For some reason, that clear liquid spewing from the kitchen faucet somehow became tainted.  It doesn’t matter it was, and is, treated with a variety of chemicals, the water may be unsafe for human consumption.

Not long after the costly air experience, Dad came across a clear plastic bottle my sister was toting around.  It was water.

My Proud Dad

My Great Depression Era-raised Dad gave it to her with both barrels.  He thoughtfully touched upon her waste of hard-earned money on something you could fetch from the kitchen, bathroom, or garden hose, loudly enough for all to hear with only one good lecture.

It didn’t matter to my sister or me, but it made an impression on the dog.  There would be no more drinking out of the toilet for her.

Soon there would be trashcans full of plastic water bottles.  And although this health scam proliferated wholesale, it quickly became the bane of the environmental revolution.  Yes, the same folks who want to keep plastic bags out of the landfills yet encourage the use of plastic baby diapers that get thrown into those same landfills.

The target of this fad changed from drinking healthy water to being Earth-haters who are likely wealthy conservatives focused on destroying the planet.  But I digress.

But it was these special family moments that I recalled when I read about some entrepreneurs from New Zealand.  Their company is called Pure Kiwi Air.  And as you likely have guessed, it sells air.

Yep.  There are no missing letters in that last word in the last sentence in the previous paragraph.  It’s not hair, pair, chair, or fair; the word is AIR.

It seems that New Zealand air is much better and purer for you than French air or Chinese air, or even American air.  And it must be better because we in the United States don’t charge much for air, and maybe not enough.

Unfortunately, you get what you pay for.  You see, a four-can pack of Pure Kiwi Air will set you back a modest $65.  A bargain at twice the price!

Had he been around when texting began he would be furious about being taxed for texting.  That’s the new proposal in The People’s Republic of California.

I have become my Dad, and that’s not a bad thing.