In case you think all news these
days is bad, you’ve got quite a surprise coming.
People cannot afford houses, the
government is $18,000,000,000,000 in debt, there have been 58,000,000 abortions
in America
since 1973, the average household debt amount is $15,706, over 1,000,000 kids
drop out of school each year, and Caitlin Jenner still has her “junk.” Yet, there is good news.
With all the debt, disease,
crime, death, illegal immigration, terrorism, voter fraud, and nuclear
proliferation by Third World assclowns, the United States has directed its
attention to something positive.
Soon, Alexander Hamilton will be
no more.
If you said to yourself, “Who is
Alexander Hamilton?” you are likely one of those school dropouts, or too poor
to have cash.
Mr. Hamilton, Not Oprah |
Mr. Hamilton was one of the
Founding Fathers, helped write the Constitution, and was the United States
Secretary of Treasury. His image can be
located on the ten dollar bill – for the next few days, anyway.
It seems as though some
progressives feel it is time for a woman to be placed on some folding U.S. currency.
Sure, Susan B. Anthony and
Elizabeth Warren – er, Sacagawea appear on coins, and Pocahontas and Martha
Washington were once featured on paper money.
But, we need to address real issues facing all citizens that can ease
the burden of life under President Barack Hussein Obama.
The solution was obvious: place a
woman’s image on paper money and all our woes will disappear.
A poll was conducted and several
women were considered. These
accomplished females included Rosa Parks, Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman,
Eleanor Roosevelt, and Oprah Winfrey.
In the lead as of this writing is Harriet
Tubman. Ms. Tubman was a slave until she
was manumitted at age 45. Her legacy is
storied and depicts a brave, strong woman, especially through her time as a spy
for the Union Army during the Civil War.
Over 600,000 people voted for
her, with Katie Couric coming in at a close second with nine votes. Congrats to all women and Caitlin.
Finally and sadly, Susan B. Anthony
was disqualified because “she’s just that woman on the dollar coin.”
My money is on Taylor Swift,
though.
I told you the news was good.