If you’re reading this before January 13, 2016, you are
still eligible to be a billionaire.
You read that right.
For only two dollars, you can select numbers and, if correct, take home
more money than most people collecting social services from the guvment.
This jackpot in the Powerball drawing will be at least
$1,300,000,000. For you trivia fans
that’s about $900,000 a minute from the day Christ was born until today.
In other words, it’s more than a dollar a second for 30 years. That’s a lot of money.
I’ve mentioned this to several strong-minded folks, and they
all said the same thing: you’re not going to win so, save your money.
Of course these douchebags were affluent enough to not
really need a large amount of “play cash.”
They have boats, high-end cars, expensive trucks, jet skis, and stately
manors. I don’t.
And a win would allow me to buy a house next door to any or
all of these over-inflated pukes. But
why?
Because I could rub their noses in my easily found affluence,
that’s why. Each day they would go off
to work I would be on my front lawn, perched atop 1985 Buick which is sitting
on cinder blocks, with a pitcher full of martinis.
“Hey there neighbor!” I’d yell, hoisting a Mason jar adorned
with three olives swimming in my icy concoction. “Have a nice day!”
A bit if sputum from their lips aimed in my direction would
bounce off their manicured Zoysia grass lawn, accompanied by a one-finger
salute.
How great would that be?
But I digress.
The naysayers point out that you have a three times better
chance to get struck by lightning, better chance of getting bitten by a shark,
or dying from getting struck by an asteroid, than winning this cash.
And while that may be partially true – because I don’t swim
in the ocean, and I carry an umbrella to ward-off flying space debris – at
least I’m in the running; they’re not.
The odds of winning are 1:292,000,000. That’s a lot.
Yet, the smartest person in the world is probably buying
tickets just to help the economy. Yep,
President Obama is likely standing in line at J’s Convenience Store. Maybe.
Good luck.
