‘Twas nearly a week after
Thanksgiving when the turkey had finally disappeared. Turkey
So a trip to the supermarket for
a restocking of provisions was in order.
My job was to simply push the
cart. No more, no less. When I am turned loose in a store, I enjoy
looking around to see what’s new and what is desperately needed. My sainted wife, on the other hand, maintains
a list to keep her focused on the mission-at-hand.
Any straying from the prescribed
path is forbidden!
In the dairy section, my sainted
wife broke off from the platoon to secure a carton of creamer for her
coffee. This fatal move left me
unsupervised for a few short feet.
Being free to furtively glance
about the aisle, I espied a sign for eggs selling for $2.89 per dozen.
I was curious about the high cost
and decided to investigate.
My partner returned wearing a
grimace, disappointed that I could not follow simple directions to not look at,
or touch, anything. ANYTHING!
With a sense of how Meriwether
Lewis felt when he first saw the Pacific Ocean ,
I proudly smiled and held them out for her inspection. I looked like one of the Magi bearing myrrh.
“What are you doing?” she barked.
“”Seeing why these eggs are so
expensive,” I offered.
The eggs were snatched from my
hand, and after scrutiny she said they were from free-range chickens.
Now I was even more baffled. Free range chickens? Where did they sleep at night, lay their
eggs, hide for protection, and house themselves during inclement weather?
My sainted wife tells a story
about her upbringing on a 100-acre farm.
The yarns include those of planting crops, harvesting fruits and
vegetables, and raising chickens.
It seems she thinks chickens are
nasty creatures that are not only dirty, but also stupid and mean.
To me, that is a recipe that
simplifies turning chickens into McNuggets without much grief.
I, on the other hand, was reared
in the city where trees growing between the street and sidewalk resembled a
forest.
Enrapt, I listened to the
mechanics of allowing chickens to freely roam so that they wouldn’t be
cooped-up, and can live joyously until their heads are lopped-off with a machete.
That still doesn’t sound very
humane, and the only added bonus would be higher prices for chicken carcasses
and eggs that the farmers reap.
We didn’t buy those eggs, opting
for non-free-range eggs from non-free-range chickens that were more than a
dollar less expensive.
I’ll wager free-range chickens
are more expensive because when they return home they need to pay for bus fare.
