While traipsing about The Eastern
Shore last week, I came across a sign that read “The Eastern
I eat a lot and a lot of that
food consists of fried chicken. And,
some of that chicken was had at restaurants, fast food joints, diners, even gas
stations, but this sign was prominently placed in front of a flea market.
This is a place I visit
semi-frequently, going inside to use the restroom, on occasion. The restrooms are located very nearby the
kiosk that vends food, including that “Best Fried Chicken.”
Fearing being a victim of a
grease fire, I do my business as quickly as possible, then exiting. On the way out the door I always notice a
lengthy queue of food patrons awaiting their orders. And I always say a brief silent prayer for
their continued health.
Not being the bravest soul on the
planet I have trepidations about eating fried chicken from this oily
spectacle. I’d ask those in line about
the quality of that chicken but, I don’t speak Spanish.
Nonetheless, I went about my trek
and wondered about how the judging was accomplished. Awarding this hole-in-the-wall “The Eastern
Shore’s Best Fried Chicken” trophy was odd, to say the least.
Not recalling a ballot or
questionnaire regarding the gustatory perception of fried chicken anywhere near
The Shore, I felt compelled to research this matter for our readers.
It so happens that there are lots
of “bests” on The Shore. There are
oyster roasts, parties, hotels, beaches, high schools, weddings, festivals,
bands, car dealers, ceramic tile centers, variety stores, coastal towns,
magazines, newspapers, universities, and crabs.
I had no idea.
Evidently these elections are
private affairs, as I have never seen a ballot for something akin to the “best
bait,” or “best incomprehensible dialect.”
Still, I tried to help our
readers sort out the best from the mediocre and the so-so. You’ll likely never see a sign reading “Stop
Here for The Eastern Shore’s So-So Tire Shop.”
If you do, write me.
So I realize this is, in many
cases, a self-assigned honor designed to lure the hapless and misinformed into
a particular business for the sake of saying, “gotcha!”
This sort of blind faith is okay
for hotels, store, and ceramic tiles, but if you hear the word “ptomaine,” then
it’s gotcha!
