Look-a-likes

Two nights ago a youthful neighbor stopped by for a visit with conversation and cheap wine.  I needed to mention she was youthful as I can be considered decrepit. 

 

Sure, I was once young and at one time I actually knew all the current bands, actors and actresses, and modern lingo.  I was hip.

 

And throughout the years I tried to stay in cultural shape by listening to the newest music, watching the premiers of television shows, and even combined the two with the help of MTV and VH-1.  Long, long ago, VH-1 was akin to MTV in that they both showed music videos.  Both aired music videos which featured cool performances from the latest artists.  In essence, these were mini concerts for shut-ins and the short-attention spanned – like me.

 

In any case, this was the only way I would know who Madonna was, or Sheila E., or any of the other three-thousand female singers of the 1980’s and 1990’s.

 

Hearing only a voice on the hi-fi was not enough to conjure up a visual image of the artist, much less get an action scenario of the song itself.

 

Unfortunately, both MTV and VH-1 have gone the way of common morality in America.  You’d have better luck finding a bag of crack in a convent than finding a music video on the music channels.

 

I no longer patronize those former music TV channels because of their lack of content I desire.  Keep in mind there is no alternative outside of the internet for such music viewing.

 

The result is my falling out of “perpetually-hip” status and into the “I-don’t-have-a-clue category.”  And to me that is a big deal.  But, I digress.

 

So my neighbor is drinking wine when a shrill voice and blonde, overly made-up woman appeared to hawk the newest amateur singer show.  Yes, America is searching for more singers, as if we were having a yodeling drought.

 

My sainted wife asked the general question as who that unrecognizable screaming woman with a guitar was.  Our youthful neighbor said that it appeared to be Christina Agulera.  It could have been; I didn’t know.

 

The conversation continued and the wine freely flowed for the balance of the evening.

 

Yesterday I looked for blonde singers in the hope of identifying this mystery woman.  My search was mixed in results as the names of Christina Agulera, Gwen Stefani, Lady Gaga, and Johnny Winter all turned up as viable identifications.

 

It may have been any one of them as they all looked pretty much alike – save for Johnny Winter who was clearly older and less made up.

 

Nonetheless, the mystery remains and the woman in the ad is still unknown to me.  I do feel old now because I am no longer able to point at people, or recognize songs, or even pick movie and TV stars out of a crowd any longer.

 

 I do find it odd that there is a TV show featuring a woman beating a cat with a guitar, though.