While taking a reprieve from time
in my workshop for a bite of lunch, I noticed my sainted wife was enthralled in
a television program.
It is The Price is Right, and
chock full of ritz and glitz. It seems
as though the show has changed hosts with the former one, Bob Barker, gone to a
California
I remember Bob was old when I was
a kid and he emceed the show with a microphone that closely resembled a giant
lollipop. He ended each show with a
warning-like-suggestion to “spay and neuter your pets.”
Ol’ Bob was put out to pasture
some years ago and replaced with someone who still has a pulse – Drew Carey.
The show has taken on an
ultra-hip atmosphere with new games and hoopla and extravagant prizes in the
form of luxury automobiles and fabulous trips.
This particular episode showed a
$300 blender, $2400 in luggage, and women’s and transvestite’s shoes worth
thousands. Gone are the days of Rice-A-Roni.
But what really caught my
attention was the Drew’s Crew members.
Bob used to have comely ladies who stood by prizes as they spun around
on a giant turntable; they referred to as Barker’s Beauties. I can only assume Drew’s ladies would have
earned a similar moniker.
In any case, there were two
models that were simply stunning. Yes, I
can say this because my sainted wife does not read www.easternshorefishandgame.com.
One was named Manjuela, the other
was Rachel. Both were, again, stunning.
I was mesmerized by their leggy
gyrations around a riding lawnmower, and later a dehumidifier. Both prizes appeared sexier because of the
way these two ladies maneuvered around them on the stage.
Just as with people who say,
“Everything tastes better with bacon,” these models do the same thing to floor
lamps – they make them better.
My mind drifted away to my “happy
place.” In the event you’re unfamiliar
with happy places, those are where you mentally go to reduce stress and want to
relax.
I was mentally in my workshop
preparing to fire-up my drill press when my sainted wife entered. In her hand was a steaming cup muscular black
coffee. She was wearing a sequined gown
with satin pumps and motioned with her free hand that this cup of joy was
mine. A facial gesture along with a
smile and wink from her confirmed this scenario.
A quick twist of her head and a
bigger grin appeared that coincided with a small nod…
I returned to reality when I
heard Drew’s voice say, “Place your bid to the nearest dollar without going
over.”
Perhaps my sainted wife could try
a smooth wave and hand motion when she announces dinner is ready, or maybe she
could sashay over to me while I’m painting and offer me some iced tea. The bottom line is presentation is
everything.
That lucky Drew fell into it.
