Nearly everyone I know enjoys a challenge of some sort. Some have a talent to take a block of wood,
seven paper clips, and an old chicken bone, and make an armoire. Others can grab a cup of flour, an egg,
peanut butter, and a paper towel to contrive a Smith Island
I, personally, possess no special worldly skills so, I
challenge myself by watching “Jeopardy!”
This is a half-hour television program that runs daily, in syndication,
and draws fools such as me who really want to believe I have knowledge. I don’t.
Mesmerized by the three contestants, I am regularly glued to
the TV to see if I know any of the answers.
Actually, the host, Alex Trebeck, gives you the answers and you must
supply the question. For instance,
“Stupid people who waste time,” is the answer; “Jeopardy! Watchers,” would be
the question.
Mr. Trebeck is not only smug but also a Canadian. He seems to enjoy correcting incorrect answers
with a glimmer in his eye. Remember
though, he has all the answers written down for his pleasure.
Offering a variety of answers, the contestants chose from
categories that often contain material that is absolutely foreign to me. My least favorite are “Opera Highlights of
the 1800’s,” “Esteemed Poets from Cork County, Ireland,” and “Oscar Winners
Whose Names End in the Letter ‘L’”.
The more difficult the answer, the higher the cash prize for
that question. In the event an incorrect
question if given, that amount is deducted from that person’s score. At the end of the game, the person with the
highest amount of money wins.
But there is a final question in which all participants
with cash can wager any amount of that money.
Only the category is given before the answer is revealed. Needless to say, these answers are even
harder than the rest of those in the game.
These final Jeopardy! Categories include “Shoe Sizes of
1960’s NBA Players,” “Kentucky Fried Chicken Secret Recipe Ingredients,” and
“Number of Roofing Tiles on Famous European Castles.”
Very little of the information necessary to successfully
provide a question can be found in People, Elle, or Southern Living
magazines. Rather, one would need to
peruse encyclopedias, trade journals, and Mensa publications, or old
newspapers.
I don’t personally keep track of the questions I get correct
but my sainted wife does. As of today,
I have accumulated the stunning amount of $200; I feel the amount should be
closer to $378,000. Although this represents
nearly a decade of watching, I believe that is quite an accomplishment.
Most of the contestants appear rather geeky, meaning they
look as though they were severely bullied or otherwise picked-on as children,
thus turning into anti-social types who regularly turn to books and equally
generally awkward company for companionship.
This doesn’t mean they cannot interact with other normally
appearing individuals. It means their of
idea of a raucous Saturday evening is a date with Masterpiece Theater. Crack open the flavored water!
Sure, I’m jealous that these nerds know how to make their
own ‘tahini,’ and can name the Gutenberg Bible’s typesetter’s grandmother.
I guess we all have our special torture. Give me a waterboard any day.
