A visit to my bank to retrieve some documents led me to a
discovery – a stack of cash in two-dollar denominations. It seems that because of my infrequent stopovers
at my financial institution, I had forgotten of what exactly lie therein. Papers with indecipherable numbers and
savings bonds rested neatly inside this compact metal box, safe from the world
outside.
But it was the hard cash that jogged my memory of how they came
to be.
Indeed, I was caught up in that frenzy actually buying a
one-hundred bill stack from the bank.
Knowing they would be worth something in a few years, I carefully placed
them in my bank box for safe keeping.
Those bills lay adjacent to the Sacagawea dollar coins that
the Treasury illuminati also said were minted to save money on paper currency
printing. The Sacagawea coins were
supposed to help the government save money over the easily damaged paper money,
because of the durability of the metal coins.
The coins were also designed to aid the vending industry to
more easily convert their machines to accept coins rather than bills.
Once again, people such as me hoarded them in rolls fresh
from the bank.
I rushed home from the bank vault to check on the current
price of both the $2 bills and the $1 coins. They were worth exactly face-value!
It seemed time to begin using the currency as cash rather than future
speculation.
Peeling off one bill from the stack of one-hundred, I
ventured out to help the economy and purchase some olives for my martinis. At the grocery store, I handed the cashier my
crisp $2 bill only to receive a blank stare and the comment, “We no take this. It not real money.”
Oh, but it was. It
was also discomforting to have an especially young foreign-born cashier who was
too young to remember 33 1/3 LP records, tell me about legal currency from my
home country.
Arguing with her would’ve been useless – akin to discussing
advanced placement physics with Smokey the cat.
It is likely the store manager was equally clueless as he was
concentrating more on acne salve rather than the produce department’s wrinkled green
peppers. But I digress.
Just to clarify, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing still
prints $2 bills but, they do not distribute them to banks on a regular basis.
Once again, the government has given America America
