It’s an EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!
In case you’re still reading and asking, “What is this EMERGENCY?” thanks for staying with me.
Just this morning I was digging up some sod in order to build a much-wanted greenhouse for my sainted wife. With promises of rain in the forecast, I began by neatly cutting the grass between the metal base rails when my mind began wandering.
Not being the most cerebral activity, cutting and removing sod permitted me to think about the imminent inclement weather. It was terribly cloudy with a spritzing drizzle that gave me the motivation I needed to stop for the time being.
That mental lull was quickly replaced with an arrow-like path to the ozone layer. If you don your thinking cap, you’ll recall that some years ago, scientists were alarmed over ozone – a protective atmospheric layer that shields the planet from the Sun’s harmful rays – was being depleted.
Those scientists were persuasive enough to ban aerosol deodorants, hair sprays, paints, and such, to prevent further loss of the Earth’s critical prophylactic cover. Society was forced to do without certain propellants used in everyday products; those propellants were phased out and replaced with a more eco-friendly substance, and all was well with this EMERGENCY dodged. Almost.
Reaching further back in time, I recalled the 1960’s scare when a seemingly innocuous aquatic plant named “Hydrilla”” was found to be living in – well – the water! It seems as though this aquatic plant was used by aquarium hobbyists for many years with great success.
Unfortunately, this plant which is native to Africa, Asia, and Australia, seems to have been deemed an invasive species to North American waters. Scientists, once again, sounded the alarm on this EMERGENCY which demanded instant attention lest our entire continent be forever ruined. Ruined! EMERGENCY!
But in the last 65 years, the certain demise of our eco-system appears to have been miscalculated by a lot. Providing cover for small fry and predators alike, Hydrilla has been blamed for creeping into New York State’s (NYS) Finger Lakes region and choking off light for other vegetation growth.
Promising the end of recreational boating and sport fishing from NYS to Florida, millions of dollars have been spent on eradication that continues more than a half-century later. EMERGENCY? You decide. After all, I still boat and fish with great success, Hydrilla-be-damned.
Perhaps it’s the guaranteed death of reindeer promised by non-scientific environmental experts preaching about the oil drilling in ANWR – the abbreviation for the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. It seems as though gripping fear generated by these self-appointed “experts” goaded President Joe Biden into canceling ALL leases in ANWR to help with this EMERGENCY. What could possibly go wrong?
Oil and gasoline prices, as well as shipping and mass-transit costs, dramatically soared due to this brilliant effort by the U.S. Department of the Interior Secretary, Deb Haaland to protect everything except citizens and their income-dependent families. Another EMERGENCY clearly avoided by another DEI hire.
But on the plus side, civilization won’t need oil and gas because Biden signed an order to outlaw the production of gasoline-powered vehicles within a few short years. You see, this newly discovered EMERGENCY is much, much easier to resolve if we don’t have vehicles and tools and toys that demand gasoline.
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| A possible future U.S. Navy ship that doesn't use fossil fuels |
Being a prognosticator, I foresee solar boats, electric airplanes, plus a lean, mean military with sailing ships and papier mâché tanks fighting future wars. Yet another EMERGENCY avoided by deep thinkers.
While we’re on the subject of deep thinkers, I was curious from whence they came.
When I was attending school, my classes consisted of subjects I was projected to need in future endeavors, such as:
Geography – in order to locate Ukraine and Palestine on maps
History – so that I would not repeat tragedies like The Holocaust
Mathematics – to be able to figure floor, wall, and roof areas, and count change in stores
English – as a tool with which to communicate with others in society
Foreign language – to enable me to better understand the mechanics of the world
Sciences – aiding my ability to interpret the effects of biology, chemistry, and physics on life
Music – as a vehicle that strengthens math and reading skills, and memorization
Gym/Health – a way to fit exercise and competition and teamwork into your personality
On the other hand, today’s generation is lost when it comes to many, or even all, of the aforementioned disciplines, which, for me, also included a part time job to help pay for my OWN upcoming college education.
Not to worry. President Plugs feels that college graduates from generations past are at a serious disadvantage because they largely indulged their high school and college years with courses that taught them how to obtain abortions, don condoms, protest, recycle, write letters to release convicted killers from prison, and refuse to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance.
The children further became familiar with antagonistic activism, racial animus, gender blurring, plus recognizing when laws do not apply according to minors. They have been enjoying a lenient system releasing underage drug dealers, rapists, even murderers, because of laws implemented to protect them from soiling their names and employment records.
Alas, college and university degrees in 15th Century French Art, Women’s Studies, Mayan Archaeology, and Advanced Pygmy Hamster Breeding, didn’t generate their once-hopeful job opportunities. As such, most of these ‘easy-A’ degrees have proven useless, even for jobs in the fast food industry.
Naturally, the solution oozed out of The White House – whose resident is desperate for votes to continue this dumpster fire for another painful four-years – pilfered Congress’ checkbook so that money could be illegally spent to pay off those useless college degrees on the backs of responsible Americans who diligently paid their own way.
This EMERGENCY, however, isn’t. It’s actually less of an EMERGENCY than the other previously mentioned scams in this essay, because they benefit only ignorant, lazy leaches who so badly wanted to flash their straight A report cards to their prospective employers.
Too bad that scam isn’t working for the kids, their parents, corporate America, and even shoppers who expect to receive their transaction change counted back to them in the store.
None of these are genuine EMERGENCIES inasmuch as life continues even though we’re shoveling precious tax dollars at these manufactured “EMERGENCIES.”
It wasn’t money that got us into these situations, and it won’t be money that gets us out. How about hard work and common sense?
In any case, the rain has stopped, and I must get back to work digging.
