Hair On Fire

  It’s an EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!

In case you’re still reading and asking, “What is this EMERGENCY?” thanks for staying with me.

Just this morning I was digging up some sod in order to build a much-wanted greenhouse for my sainted wife. With promises of rain in the forecast, I began by neatly cutting the grass between the metal base rails when my mind began wandering.

Not being the most cerebral activity, cutting and removing sod permitted me to think about the imminent inclement weather. It was terribly cloudy with a spritzing drizzle that gave me the motivation I needed to stop for the time being.

That mental lull was quickly replaced with an arrow-like path to the ozone layer. If you don your thinking cap, you’ll recall that some years ago, scientists were alarmed over ozone – a protective atmospheric layer that shields the planet from the Sun’s harmful rays – was being depleted.

Those scientists were persuasive enough to ban aerosol deodorants, hair sprays, paints, and such, to prevent further loss of the Earth’s critical prophylactic cover. Society was forced to do without certain propellants used in everyday products; those propellants were phased out and replaced with a more eco-friendly substance, and all was well with this EMERGENCY dodged. Almost.

Reaching further back in time, I recalled the 1960’s scare when a seemingly innocuous aquatic plant named “Hydrilla”” was found to be living in – well – the water! It seems as though this aquatic plant was used by aquarium hobbyists for many years with great success.

Unfortunately, this plant which is native to Africa, Asia, and Australia, seems to have been deemed an invasive species to North American waters. Scientists, once again, sounded the alarm on this EMERGENCY which demanded instant attention lest our entire continent be forever ruined. Ruined! EMERGENCY!

But in the last 65 years, the certain demise of our eco-system appears to have been miscalculated by a lot. Providing cover for small fry and predators alike, Hydrilla has been blamed for creeping into New York State’s (NYS) Finger Lakes region and choking off light for other vegetation growth.

Promising the end of recreational boating and sport fishing from NYS to Florida, millions of dollars have been spent on eradication that continues more than a half-century later. EMERGENCY? You decide. After all, I still boat and fish with great success, Hydrilla-be-damned.

Perhaps it’s the guaranteed death of reindeer promised by non-scientific environmental experts preaching about the oil drilling in ANWR – the abbreviation for the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. It seems as though gripping fear generated by these self-appointed “experts” goaded President Joe Biden into canceling ALL leases in ANWR to help with this EMERGENCY. What could possibly go wrong?

Oil and gasoline prices, as well as shipping and mass-transit costs, dramatically soared due to this brilliant effort by the U.S. Department of the Interior Secretary, Deb Haaland to protect everything except citizens and their income-dependent families. Another EMERGENCY clearly avoided by another DEI hire.

But on the plus side, civilization won’t need oil and gas because Biden signed an order to outlaw the production of gasoline-powered vehicles within a few short years. You see, this newly discovered EMERGENCY is much, much easier to resolve if we don’t have vehicles and tools and toys that demand gasoline.

A possible future U.S. Navy ship that
doesn't use fossil fuels

Being a prognosticator, I foresee solar boats, electric airplanes, plus a lean, mean military with sailing ships and papier mâché tanks fighting future wars. Yet another EMERGENCY avoided by deep thinkers.

While we’re on the subject of deep thinkers, I was curious from whence they came.

When I was attending school, my classes consisted of subjects I was projected to need in future endeavors, such as:

• Geography – in order to locate Ukraine and Palestine on maps

• History – so that I would not repeat tragedies like The Holocaust

• Mathematics – to be able to figure floor, wall, and roof areas, and count change in stores

• English – as a tool with which to communicate with others in society

• Foreign language – to enable me to better understand the mechanics of the world

• Sciences – aiding my ability to interpret the effects of biology, chemistry, and physics on life

• Music – as a vehicle that strengthens math and reading skills, and memorization

• Gym/Health – a way to fit exercise and competition and teamwork into your personality

On the other hand, today’s generation is lost when it comes to many, or even all, of the aforementioned disciplines, which, for me, also included a part time job to help pay for my OWN upcoming college education.

Not to worry. President Plugs feels that college graduates from generations past are at a serious disadvantage because they largely indulged their high school and college years with courses that taught them how to obtain abortions, don condoms, protest, recycle, write letters to release convicted killers from prison, and refuse to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance.

The children further became familiar with antagonistic activism, racial animus, gender blurring, plus recognizing when laws do not apply according to minors. They have been enjoying a lenient system releasing underage drug dealers, rapists, even murderers, because of laws implemented to protect them from soiling their names and employment records.

Alas, college and university degrees in 15^th Century French Art, Women’s Studies, Mayan Archaeology, and Advanced Pygmy Hamster Breeding, didn’t generate their once-hopeful job opportunities. As such, most of these ‘easy-A’ degrees have proven useless, even for jobs in the fast food industry.

Naturally, the solution oozed out of The White House – whose resident is desperate for votes to continue this dumpster fire for another painful four-years – pilfered Congress’ checkbook so that money could be illegally spent to pay off those useless college degrees on the backs of responsible Americans who diligently paid their own way.

This EMERGENCY, however, isn’t. It’s actually less of an EMERGENCY than the other previously mentioned scams in this essay, because they benefit only ignorant, lazy leaches who so badly wanted to flash their straight A report cards to their prospective employers.

Too bad that scam isn’t working for the kids, their parents, corporate America, and even shoppers who expect to receive their transaction change counted back to them in the store.

None of these are genuine EMERGENCIES inasmuch as life continues even though we’re shoveling precious tax dollars at these manufactured “EMERGENCIES.”

It wasn’t money that got us into these situations, and it won’t be money that gets us out. How about hard work and common sense?

In any case, the rain has stopped, and I must get back to work digging.

No End in Sight

 We recently passed Earth Day 2024 on the calendar without much hoopla. And this morning’s television news splashed several stories on the screen about copious and violent storms making their way across America.

Of course tornadoes are a regular part of the weather, but especially so in the Spring. Patterns of violent storms often form and subsequently travel cross-country from west to east, wreaking havoc on unsuspecting residents while destroying homes along the way.

Not limited to just tornadoes, North America, as well as every other nation, are subject to destructive forces which include flooding, gale-force winds, hail, lightning, earthquakes, ice storms, blizzards, plus crippling heat. And regularly, following one of the events, we are lectured about our shortcomings as tenants of the Earth.

Blame always seems to be freely-flowing from the powers-that-be directed squarely at hard-working, honest, caring people who the anointed-among-us blame us for the adverse conditions that occasionally strike.

Earth Day was contrived in 1970, to “raise awareness about environmental issues,” per Earthday.org. And what great job they’ve done.

Over the decades, countless organizations, businesses, guvment agencies, schools, non-government organizations (NGO), and institutions of higher learning, have all been among those who readily embraced this world-wide grift.

However, the grift transformed into a multinational scam within just a few years. Suddenly, the “awareness” transformed into regulations, modifications in lifestyles became legislation, suggestions morphed into threats of arrest, all in the name of the environment.

What was once a dog-and-pony-show with poster boards, banners, and plastic water bottles advertising a woke cause, transformed into something unforeseen in the think tank.

Discovering a virtually bottomless pit of money available for the new catch phrase: “Save the Planet,” did not go unnoticed. Normally reserved for desperate times, those three words changed the narrative of Earth Day from a cottage industry into a bigger than big business.

Grants were quickly conjured up from whole cloth to rescue our now-propaganda drowning populace, all in the name of fear.

Not wanting to miss out on a few drops of the guvment gravy train, huge corporations discovered they could simply attach a “green” label to a product to get the attention of consumers. “Green” denoting the eco-friendly fad soared to new levels, as did prices associated therewith.

Not unlike “organic” fruits, vegetables, eggs, wool, and coffee, green products became the rage commanding nose-bleed prices, all in the name of Saving the Planet.

Making S'mores in your energy-saving solar oven

With uninformed young pukes now attending special environmental-oriented classes in elementary and high schools, they were enticed to help Mother Earth even further by attaining degrees in college to better-aim America and its Neanderthals that a certain end to our planetary home was nigh.

Those same newly hatched youngsters discovered something they deemed “recycling” to prevent our dumps from filling up. They cleverly thought that rather than tossing plastic bottles and metal cans into the trash, they could better be remanufactured into carpets, bicycles, and clothing.

Glass bottles that were too inconvenient to use as “deposit returns” for milk, beer, soft drinks, and oil, began to be re-imagined in a new light. Deposits of a few cents per bottle were once deemed cumbersome, even petty, and thereby simply stopped by businesses at the cost of consumers. Into the dump they went.

But now those same bottles were supposed to be recycled to save landfill space, and therefore the environment. Special plastic bins were made from irreplaceable fossil fuels for use by every household for enthusiastic recycling efforts. Those bins were to be emptied by special garbage trucks on special pickups to Save the Planet. Don’t worry that using extra fuel for the special garbage trucks would generate additional pollution.

Finding golden nuggets among the newly-anointed was fairly easy when it came to recycling not only trash, but also ideas.

In addition to bottle and can recycling were brilliant ideas from the shallow thinkers of today’s youth. It seems as though someone picked up a 1950’s copy of Popular Mechanics – a long-time magazine that featured ideas, and technologies, for many years. And years ago an idea called ‘solar energy’ was featured therein.

This idea of transforming energy from the Sun into electricity isn’t novel. Wafer-like panels consisting of silicon were made to harness the Sun’s rays. Using the photovoltaic effect to convert light into energy is nothing new; it is, however, still inefficient and expensive.

With promises of homeowners recouping their investments in solar panels, sales skyrocketed. But it wasn’t the windfall promised by slick solar energy dealers. Virtually guaranteeing the homeowner would be selling excess generated electricity to the power companies was a no-brainer.

Alas, all was not as it seemed. Many of those solar panels were, and are still, made in China and the companies often fall into bankruptcy following only a few months in business. This exercise leaves consumers with non-functional and under performing panels, with no recourse.

Still, our greedy politicians and eco-business owners are dead set on Saving the Planet. If only we could muster a few more billion dollars, we would all survive.

Becoming the new religion of our youth – as well as child-like minded adults – Earth Day has progressed to propagandize tornadoes, flooding, gale-force winds, hail, lightning, earthquakes, ice storms, blizzards, plus crippling heat, into causes for planetary modification, without question or debate.

Of course they are wrong and merely seeking their next proverbial meal at the guvment grant teat. And who can blame them? Easy “work” if you can get it.

Everything everywhere is not critical to our survival, but lies and half-truths are doing more harm both mentally and financially, with no end in sight. Lighten up.

Sigmund Freud said it best: “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”

It’s My Fault Quiz

  It’s been a while since we had a test, and now seems like as good a time as any for another.

Question: What do pallets, zip ties, gluten-free grub, plywood, umbrellas, bottled water, vegan food, black hoodies, cellphones, and COVID masks, have in common?

Yes, there is a distinct correlation between all those items, but I will add something to make this cerebral journey end more quickly in case you’re still in a quandary. The bonus clue is: Goggles.

You may phone a friend or consult with a family member if you wish – I’ll wait for you.

Answer: These are all accessories used in modern day riots, protests, and insurrections.

Please note that those fun-loving, peaceful Muslims, who demanded respect and protection from cave-man-like American infidel citizens following the hijacking and crashing of jets on 9/11/2001, are now calling for the death of all Jews and America.

Anarchists infiltrating all segments of society have been complicit with Hamas terrorists for years. But it was the October 7, 2023, Hamas attack on Israel that begged for retaliation in the form of merciless, justified revenge on Hamas in Palestine.

Israeli citizens, American citizens, IDF soldiers, even babies, were subject to slaughter by Hamas agents as a form of “intifada,” according to Palestine.

Weak-minded college students, outside agitators, anarchists, along with college professors, have, as of late, been involved with actively pointing their crooked fingers at civilized society for trying to teach unrefined haters a lesson in good manners.

Your tax dollar at work
helping with education funding

Not to be deterred, their goal of social acceptance seems to trump rules for a humane, educated existence among the rabble-rousers to the detriment of law and order.

Quickly morphing from college students into soulless animals, those ignorant, non-skilled students have been targeting innocent victims with terroristic tactics.

On nationwide college campi, Jewish students have been vilified for simply being Jewish. Let’s look into the rear-view mirror of history. Back in the 1980’s, gays and lesbians, blacks, women, and brown people in America achieved a status previously unknown: Government-approved minorities.

Minorities have always been with us, but it was the ear of “rights” that augmented each one of these minority groups to not only be protected, but they also immediately received special status for protection against harassment and violence.

Criminal activities directed toward any one of these would henceforth be prosecuted and sentenced based on something termed “hate crime” status. In other words, if a white man killed a white man, it is a crime. If a white man killed a black man, it could be considered a hate crime, thereby subjecting the offender to additional penalties for, well, hate. At the very least it is terrorism.

Hate is one of those emotions that is invisible, but the anointed politicians felt it necessary to pander to their constituents so, same crime = different punishment. Neato.

Being a less-than-intelligent man, I would assume that, based upon these relatively new incarceration guidelines, the pro-Palestine/Hamas crowd should be arrested and charged with a hate crime for targeting Jews, and terrorism for threatening Americans-at-large.

It’s time for those full-time college plagiarists and part-time presidents to stop being cowards and stand up for those innocent students who have paid in the neighborhood of $90,000/year in tuition.

Oh, never mind. I just remembered you and I paid for those tuitions with our tax dollars.

You’re welcome, children!