By now, most regular readers are familiar with Smokey the Cat, the third resident in my humble home beside my sainted wife. Together, we produce fodder for stories each week, and enjoy doing so.
By way of background, Smokey was adopted – he was, and will always be, a feral feline. He came to us fourteen years ago as a tiny cat that easily fit in the palm of your hand. A veterinarian visit surprised us with the news that although Smokey was so small he was an adult, largely because he was malnourished.
Living in our dilapidated garage, Smokey was eager to move into our house to complete our meager family. And the adventures began.
Litter box, litter, water and food bowls, a bed, toys, and eventually a neutering job, all rounded out the necessities for making and keeping a safe home and community. Because he likely spent most of his time outdoors in survival-mode, we thought it best he be reared and nurtured as an indoor pet.
My sainted wife selected a brand name cat food, whose name I won’t disclose because we’re not being compensated, but rhymes with “Durina,” to help Smokey with his until-then lack of sustenance. And it worked.
Growing into a normal frame in short order helped him adjust to our hectic lives together. And has been well since.
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| Smokey the Cat (smaller than actual size) |
But it was with interest that I recently caught television commercials for pet food that I normally disregard because we have a cat, we have a food the cat eats and enjoys, and we have our sanity due to having a cat that is not a finicky eater. A real cat owner can testify to those words.
Cats are a different breed of animal that march to the beat of a different drummer. While not being a cat psychologist, I can tell you with authority cats do not take orders well or relish change in their routines.
For all you non-cat owners, a daily routine is structured thusly:
5:30 AM Awaken, stretch, eat some dry food, back to sleep
5:52 AM Awaken again for a bathroom run followed by a case of “Cat Crazies”
6:03 AM Back to sleep
6:22 AM Awaken yet again, this time to get the balance of the household out of bed
6:41 AM Jump into window to watch birds
6:59 AM Back to sleep after a few more kibble bits
10:17 AM Awake and stretching again, ready for mischief
10:26 AM Searching for rays of sunlight in which to bask
2:02 PM Drinking water followed by bathroom run
2:33 PM Nap time
4:00 PM Treat time
4:37 PM Back into a window for more bird watching
5:05 PM Play with toys until they are “lost” under the furniture
5:47 PM More kibble
6:02 PM Ready for some petting and interpersonal time with human suckers
8:22 PM Preparing for bedtime
8:23 PM Sleeping – until 5:30 AM tomorrow
Any break, diversion, readjustment in that schedule is not acceptable to the family cat, and therefore everyone else in the home. Period. It’s the law.
So what piqued my interest was a slick pet food commercial showing a starving cat gobbling-up dry kibble in a bowl. Clearly that cat was trapped in a cage for weeks with whiny Taylor Swift and ready for death, rather opting for new culinary options.
FYI, there is no such thing.
Still, advertising their cat food as “healthy, “best,” “quality,” “veterinarian recommended,” and “no by-products,” are all hard-sells to any long-time cat owner.
I’d love to know how a vet knows whether or not a cat likes anything other than deviltry and sleeping, much less food. And just because food doesn’t contain by-products or chicken meal are not good barometers to how contented a cat is.
For the record, Smokey, probably because of his feral roots, has been known to ingest anything he finds moving: houseflies, moths, an errant spider, as well as clumps of freshly mowed grass clippings inadvertently drug in by me on my shoes. Somehow, these examples seem to be more satisfying to a cat than “vegetarian diet” cat food.
But the dirty little secret herein is that ‘what goes in must come out.’ and by ‘come out,’ I mean throw up. Being an indoor pet means they throw up indoors. Okay. I said it.
Unfortunately, cats – as intelligent as they are – do not associate vomiting with eating bugs and such. Alas.
There you have it. Cats are mentally wired to survive off of dropped garden tomatoes, birds, insects, string, toy stuffing, ribbons, and washing it all down with stagnant gutter water. I seriously doubt processing cat food with imported long grain rice and braised duck breasts will impress anyone other than Durina.
Nice try, though!
