Just Give Up

 The world, in general, America, in particular, consists of people who have marginal survival skills.

 

When I mention survival skills I don’t necessarily mean plying South American or African jungles with a machete in the hopes of finding potential food before that same potential food finds them as potential food.

 

No, I mean basic skills of a civilized society that includes modern day hunters and gatherers.  In those basic skills I include finding a parking lot space, acquiring a shopping cart without a crippled wheel, and being able to locate toilet paper on the meagerly stocked shelves.

 

Serious periodic introspection gives me a sense of superiority compared to my fellow shoppers, at least the ones who found that elusive parking space.

 

In any case, some shopping does not necessarily require finding a parking space or even the store itself.  That should be seen as a bonus to those with shopping challenges.

 

There’s something new called “the internet,” which allows one to visit most of their favorite stores without leaving their COVID-19-free homes, or removing those nasty curlers from their hair.

 

Normally, that would be the end of the story, but because I have ample time today, you get even more words.  Yea!

 

Over the past few months Americans who have a television have been overdosed with ads about buying supplemental health insurance.  This insurance is in addition to Medicare, a brilliant Ponzi scheme that closely rivals the Social Security System.

 

It seems as though congressional shysters created this boneheaded structure to create a sense of privilege and urgency to make a decision to buy additional coverage.

 

Over the past six-plus decades of my life, I made sure I was covered by health insurance, most of which followed me into my retirement years.  Some new plans and additional riders were necessary to ensure my coverage was thorough enough for my twilight years.

 

All this extra coverage costs money, though, money that comes out of my pocket. But I had planned on most of these financial outlays in life, something for which I budgeted before my austere segment of existence.

 

However, over these past few weeks I have begun to think I am pretty much alone in the planning department and possess survival skills that are rare beyond comprehension.

 

As mentioned earlier, I have seen countless commercials for supplemental health insurance.  Without fail, every other ad is for this insurance.  But that’s not the fingernails-on-a-blackboard irritation that’s been driving me crazy.

 

What’s taking me on that short trip to crazy is a fellow named Joe Namath.

 

Joe Namath was a quarterback for the University of Alabama, aka.: Crimson Tide, in the 1960’s.  He got a job as quarterback for the New York Jets, where he paved his road to fame in the 1969 Super Bowl III.  Namath’s Jets were 18-point underdogs, but won.  And the rest is history.

 

One would think Joe Namath would have saved his pennies over the years.  He appeared in dozens of television and stage shows, and even had a short-lived show of his own.  He’s in his middle 70’s, and reportedly has a net worth of $18,000,000.

 

All this leads me to the question: why does an old guy, a has-been, with millions of dollars, have to slobber on TV for health insurance companies?

 

He might be more palatable if he didn’t speak with an annoying half-Southern accent which is only augmented with his ill-fitting dentures.  But I digress.

 

It’s about time Joe avoided the mass media and sat in the sun room and stuck to making wallets.  On the other hand, that may have been Joe doing seemingly endless laps in the Walmart parking lot in search of a parking spot adjacent to the door.

 

Likewise, Tom Selleck, television star of the 1970’s and ‘80’s, is easily spotted hawking reverse mortgages.  This is another example of idols of yore refusing to take their places in a rocking chair or recliner, in lieu of irritating the balance of America with their sales spiels.

 

Because I excel at offering free, usually unwanted advice, I’d like to take this opportunity to provide some more to both Joe and Tom: Just give up.

 

I’m just saying.