Industrial Strength

While waiting to catch a glimpse of Snoop Dogg, Mylie Cyrus, Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham, or Whoopi Goldberg, arrive at the airport, I decided to check the latest news on my phone.

 

I gave up on George Lopez and Cher and Bryan Cranston, as well as Samuel L. Jackson, because I really don’t care about them.  In fact, I really don’t care about any of those phony actors and actresses who promised to leave America if Donald Trump was elected to the office of President.

 

Uh, oh.  He was.

 

And they didn’t leave.  And that’s too bad.  Fake news?  Yep.  Unfortunately, Mark Zuckerberg’s fancy algorithms didn’t catch those lies – uh – untruths, the way they deftly discovered questionable comments and postings by former President Donald J. Trump. But I digress.

 

In any case, I stumbled upon a news story that, at first blush, I thought was more fake news.

 

As old as I am, I regularly come across information, news stories, legends, and even names that continue to flabbergast me.  This one is no different and may actually move up to the top of the list in the stupid department.

 

It seems a Louisiana woman intent on grooming herself discovered she was out of what the hair stylists term “product.”  Product can consist of many items for hair use and can be purchased in salons and stores nationwide.

 

Unbeknownst to me, I, too use product in the form of styling gel according to my sainted wife who knows product.  But product evidently covers a wide variety of things used to make people pretty including – well, I don’t know; you’ll just have to trust me on this one.

 

In this instance, the Louisiana woman, Tessica Brown, began to panic in order to find product for her hair.  A thorough search turned up little in the way of something to help hold her hair in place.

 

Tessica Brown's SUPER hold

Until she came across something called Gorilla Glue.  Gorilla Glue is a glue as clearly mentioned in its name.  It works very well in that I have used it in the past to adhere everything from plastic to wood.  Believe me when I tell you it holds, probably the result of the name of a tenacious grasp - gorilla-like - in a glue form, I’m guessing.

 

Gorilla Glue comes in various forms – much like product – to encompass jars, cans, tubes, and aerosol.  Brown opted for the handy spray adhesive application which produced excellent holding power.

 

The bad news is Brown evidently discovered Gorilla Glue is designed to hold, not unhold.  You may want to re-read that last sentence if you are contemplating substituting Gorilla Glue for hair gel.

 

After a month of EXTRA hold, she called the Gorilla Glue Company who offered little in the way of solutions except to offer their congratulations on achieving what they consider a genuine permanent hold, and two-thumbs up.

 

A visit to a local hospital was met with amazement at the rigidity of her weave, and how long it has remained in place.

 

Acetone was used on her hair only to find it became gooey and re-hardening after a short while, sadly burning her scalp in the process.

 

Suddenly Brown’s effort to cut corners was met with new challenges.

 

The Gorilla Glue Company tweeted: “We are very sorry to hear about the unfortunate incident that Miss Brown experienced using our Spray Adhesive on her hair. We are glad to see in her recent video that Miss Brown has received medical treatment from her local medical facility and wish her the best.”

“The company goes on to reiterate that its product ‘is not indicated for use in or on hair as it is considered permanent.’”

I suppose looking to find a positive note in this experience may be two-fold.  Firstly, Brown will no longer have to buy gel thereby saving copious amounts of money.

Secondly, looking back at history as a lesson, coloring her hair will likely not involve enamel spray paint.