Today began as per usual –
checking the interweb to see what Robert DiNiro and Adam Schiff were saying
about President Donald Trump.
 |
| Adam Schiff imposter |
Then it was off to the store to
buy a get well card for a neighbor.
My sick neighbor was suddenly
hospitalized. I’d tell you what her
ailment is, but the HIPPA law precludes me from doing so.
HIPAA is an acronym for Health
Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, and serves as a protector of
privacy for individuals. This is the
reason crazy people buy guns with impunity.
But I digress.
My sainted wife and I thought
buying her a hanging basket and card would be a nice gesture.
At the store, we were
coincidentally greeted with copious amounts of various hanging baskets, all of
which were so beautiful the selection process became difficult.
We chose a Gerbera Daisy and
began looking for a card.
Our search logically started in
the greeting card section. There, we
stumbled upon birthday, Easter, Passover, graduation, anniversary, retirement,
sympathy, and congratulatory cards.
If you read closely, you would
have noticed there was no mention of get well cards discovered. In fact, I likely could have discovered
platinum buried in a jar of tomato paste before I found get well cards.
My sainted wife, undeterred, left
for a scavenger hunt to locate a sales nitwit to direct us toward the get well
card section. Eventually, she returned
with a cross between an angered facade and baffled appearance.
She was directed to the birthday,
Easter, Passover, graduation, anniversary, retirement, sympathy, and
congratulatory card section.
It should be mentioned that all
these greeting cards were Hallmark cards, not inexpensive by any means.
We celebrated our wedding
anniversary just recently. I reluctantly
purchased a piece of cardboard with printing and a ribbon for nearly six
bucks! Every day I toss out tons of
cardboard that I will be “recycling” into greeting cards from now on. But I digress, again.
On the way home, we stopped at
the Dollar Tree and bought a get well card, of which they had plenty. And, they were a reasonable fifty-cents,
each.
As always, there is a valuable
lesson hidden herein. People on The
Eastern Shore don’t sell or buy get well cards.
The only reasons I can think of is because Eastern
Shore folks don’t get sick; but if they do, they don’t get well,
and no one wants to offer false hope to the dying.
Visit our site again next week
for tutorial on how to turn an empty tissue box into a greeting card. A recycled greeting card, that is.
