Our English language is tough enough to muddle through every
day without having intellectual wanna-bes attempting to wordsmith.
Often the spoken language has nuances that are subject to
rules but, when bored smart folks get involved things get very complex and
confusing very quickly.
For example, hamburger meat becomes chuck when its fat
content changes. That’s the rule.
Unfortunately, there are no hard and fast rules for the
following:
- When does a racehorse become a glue factory candidate?
- Why did bottled water become more expensive than gasoline?
- When does a simple murder become an assassination?
- When does a used car become a previously-owned automobile?
- When did global warming become climate change?
- What makes a car a “luxury automobile?”
- Since when did awful poetry in the form of rap become music?
- When did Christmas become not Christmas?
- How did lies about “hands up, don’t shoot” become gospel?
- How are we supposed to talk about race without being called a racist?
- How do such stupid men and women get elected and re-elected to Congress and the Senate?
- What is the difference between impotence and erectile dysfunction?
- Why did dangerous curly light bulbs replace the safer incandescent ones?
- Why do criminals get free housing, food, educations, phones, and then complain that they are called “illegal immigrants?”
- How do people get elevated to “expert” status in order to give their lame opinions on television?
- What are the criteria for securing a lucrative federal grant to study crap that doesn’t need studying?
- When is the First Lady going to take the same flight as her “husband?”
- Who selects the days when the time changes?
- What does your resume have to look like to get a job test driving Ferraris?
- What sort of punishment should be meted out to tax evaders when illegal immigrants are rewarded for their efforts?
- When is it time to stop blaming President Bush?
- When does a sofa become a davenport?
- What distinguishes a pot from a kettle?
- What is the difference between lally-gagging and dilly-dallying?
That’s enough for now since my hair hurts. Come back next week for a new story. Thanks for reading!
