A rainy weekend created time to sort through stuff that
accumulated over the years and now resides inside the kitchen cabinets.
Of course there is the assortment of various sizes of pots
and pans and lids, but there are some special things that caught my attention
because of great advertising.
We’ve all seen those television ads that promote pills to
encourage weight loss. Simply take one
pill every day and dramatic weight loss will occur. Within three days you are guaranteed to lose
40 pounds so, you must exercise extraordinary care when using, or even
handling, these powerful drugs.
It seems the only thing losing weight will be your
wallet. Still, the appeal lives because
of the idea you don’t have to change your diet or exercise habits to achieve
the published results.
This same appeal holds true for me when it comes to
these gadgets. I so badly want things to work
well in an effort to make my life easier.
My motto is: “Work smarter, not harder.”
Out of the cabinet first was a green frying pan that
promised nothing would stick to it.
Burning sugar, over-cooked pork chops, charred potatoes, would all
merely rinse off with only a thimble of water.
The fact you had to season this frying pan first and
repeatedly would have been good information to have before the initial
purchase. Otherwise, you just bought an
antique cast iron fry pan.
Next out was an air-circulating wok-style pan that contained
all sorts of accessories, racks, spatulas, and lid. Everything was there except the directions. Now I remember why we never used this thing.
That amazing spatula that turned fried eggs without breaking
the yolks didn’t work either and was tucked neatly adjacent to those Teflon©
coated forms for making tortilla bowls.
In case you missed them on TV, you tuck a corn or flour tortilla in one
of these molds and place it into the oven for only ten minutes. If you want it crisp, you’ll need to leave it
in the oven for roughly three days. When
done, they can be used to create taco salads, ice cream bowls, and – well –
that’s all.
Then there are the forms that make hard-boiled eggs without
the shells. Say what?
You crack a raw egg into this mold, and then place it into
boiling water for a few minutes. The
result is a hard-boiled egg that needs no peeling. These molds can actually be used with liquid
egg product that contains no cholesterol for folks like me.
A device that promised to be revolutionary from a Nobel
Prize standpoint, the machine that sliced carrots, potatoes, and onions with ease,
in seconds, was pulled out. It worked
very well for about two carrots before the “indestructible space-aged plastic”
snapped and ruined the “multi-blade slot,” rendering it useless.
We now remove an egg peeler form the cabinet. This is one of those things that seem so good
they could best be described as diet pills.
Just put a hard-boiled egg into this contraption, push down
on its plastic plunger, and remove the perfectly-peeled egg in less than 1.4
seconds.
But why do we need this thing if we can boil eggs without
their shells?
I surrender and promise to not buy anything else from a
television ad. Unless I see something to
make a bacon vest.
