Since the holidays were approaching, and I needed some
picnic side dishes, I headed to Walmart where I usually shop for
groceries. After an ardent search, I
could not locate the potato salad which I so enjoy.
They had macaroni salad, cole slaw, and some potato salads,
alas not what I was looking for. One
potato salad was “regular,” another was “Amish style,” and yet another was
labeled “egg” potato salad.
But, I so enjoy the “r-word” potato salad. I needed professional Walmart help.
“Where is the ‘r-word’ potato salad?” I asked.
The lovely woman named déLaShontá – that’s what her official
name tag said – loading chickens into the rotisseries shook her head and asked
me what I was talking about.
“The r-word potato salad,” I reiterated.
“What is the ‘r-word’ potato salad?” she posed.
“That’s the salad that you normally have in-between the
Amish potato salad and the hummus,” was my answer.
“But, what’s that?” the Walmart deli official asked.
“That’s stuff made from pureed chick peas with olive oil
and…” was all I could get out before I was interrupted.
Evidently there was some sort of rotisserie chicken shortage
crisis that needed immediate attention, and there was no time for helping needy
customers in search of wanted products.
“I know what hummus be!” retorted déLaShontá. “What’s that r-word stuff you looking for?”
Clearly she was baffled by my simple inquiry. I approached her and whispered to her. “This may be offensive to you but, it is
redskin potato salad,” was my answer in my absolute lowest voice possible.
Hoping no one in the store but déLaShontá heard me, I told
her how that word describing the type of potato used in the creation of this
delectable side dish, and subsequent name, has become suddenly unpopular and
has even been banned by some politicians.
This earnest effort to protect tender, virgin ears from such vulgar
words should be embraced rather than scorned.
It was at this point that déLaShontá claimed to be a
Washington Redskins fan. Three nearby
customers fell to the linoleum floor and curled into balls, writhing about the
aisle next to the frozen pizzas and crab dip.
I might add the crab dip is quite delectable.
Plainly evident was that those three agonizing individuals
were uber-sensitive to offensive to words that have long-described products and
teams.
This hoopla began when a few bored individuals needed a
cause to back. Beating baby seals to
death was already taken so, making the name of the Washington Redskins
disgusting was fair game.
We are now not allowed to say the word “redskins” out of
fear of sending countless numbers of the masses into conniption fits. Please don’t thank me – I’m just doing my
part to help the easily-offended.
