Cold as Ice

In the name of promoting mental calisthenics, we are offering a quiz to our especially astute readers.
 

Q:  What do the following all have in common?

• Akademik Shokalskiy
• Xue Long
• At least 900 traffic wrecks in the Atlanta, GA
• Record low temps
• 44^th World Economic Forum

 

A:  All of these are germane to the news of January 2014.

 

“Big deal,” you say.  And, normally you would be correct.  But, today is different because today is the day we are going to help get to the inside of the head of that great doctor of environmentalism and inventor of the internet, Dr. Albert Gore.
 

It seems that Al Gore told the world that the temperature of the interior of the Earth was “millions of degrees,” while visiting Conan O’Brien’s show in November 2009.  This is the guy who was “a heartbeat away from the presidency” when Bill Clinton was banging interns.  It is also the same guy who ran for his own term as president, and was luckily defeated. 

 

Dr. Gore was speaking at the 44^th World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, in January 2014, while the coldest temperatures ever recorded in the United States affected most of the country. 

 

Ol’Al and his buds were discussing “climate change,” the new catch phrase for “global warming,” that affects us all.  Yes, we are all going to catch on fire if something isn’t done quickly to stop this heating of the planet, he contends.

 

All the while, record snow storms and related ice caused nearly a thousand wrecks in Atlanta, Georgia, alone, and trapped thousands of commuters in their vehicles for days.  We’re not counting those who slept in gas stations, supermarkets, and hardware stores, overnight, because they were unable to make it home for the inclement weather conditions.

 

At least 49 daily record lows were set on January 6^th & 7^th, 2014.

 

Countless people in various southern states were trapped in their cars for over 20-hours.

 

The Akademik Shokalskiy is the Russian research ship that became stuck in the Antarctic ice while studying the loss of – well – ice.  According to this ship of brain trustees, the Antarctic ice was disappearing at an alarming rate; the  Akademik Shokalskiy crew merely wanted to document how quickly.

 

Their ship became frozen in the disappearing ice and they had to spend the Christmas holidays there, trapped liked international, over-educated rats.  Not to worry, the Chinese came to their rescue with their own ice breaking ship, the Xue Long, which also became stuck.  So now, we have two stuck ships frozen in ice that isn’t there.

 

The conclusion is that if the Earth’s internal temperature was “millions of degrees,” that should be enough to melt the snow, ice, and vaporize the oceans.  But, the ice isn’t melting, the snow isn’t slowing, and the oceans are still there and still cold.

 

Lest we mention the repetitive blankets of snow on the East Coast states throughout much of January and February, reaching record proportions, and we have something that occurs once in a lifetime.

 

Now if only research information would tell us something important, like what the freezing temperature of vodka, is.