A trip to the grocery store for some provisions got me into
a philosophical mood. Salad dressing,
ketchup, snacks, and beverages, rounded out my list for mid-week shopping.
Back in the early 1980’s, someone spiked Chicago-area Tylenol
capsules with a poison that killed seven people and began the habit of sealing
easily accessed ingestible products.
It used to be most bottles of pills merely had a screw-on
cap that kept both the nine-feet of cotton and pills, in place. It seems as though someone intentionally
laced some Tylenol capsules with cyanide at the local level, rather than at the
factory.
Foil and plastic shields suddenly appeared and were glued on
the individual bottles of virtually every medication as a precaution from copycat
morons.
It wasn’t long before everything had a special seal to
either “ensure freshness,” or “guaranty safety.” In any case, they became annoying then and
are still annoying.
Acting as a sort of gasket, these tamper-proof devices serve
as a method of detecting if a package has been opened, offering a warning to
consumers.
My recently-purchased salad dressing may as well have been
sealed with a glob of concrete with a pull tab attached. The undersized tab needed needle nosed pliers
to grasp lest it be torn off rendering it useless; I didn’t use the pliers, and
I was rendered useless.
The same scenario was relived with the ketchup. But, it is only speculation on my part that plastic
jugs of oil and windshield washer fluid have those tamper-resistant seals
because of leak prevention and not to preserve freshness.
Nonetheless, this exercise appears to be merely legal, in
nature. A precaution, for sure, but also
somewhat phony in nature, sealing ingestible goods is only effective if all
ingestibles are protected.
Allow me to explain.
Some grocery stores showcase “bulk goods,” which are unpackaged food
products along the lines of cereals, nuts, and candies. These bulk goods are usually heaped in
barrels with handy scoops available to fill up your bags. These no-frill, no-name foodstuffs are
decidedly less expensive than those in colorful, brand name packaging.
Here’s the rub: Anyone could lace these unprotected foods
with any number of poisons, and render countless numbers of consumers severely
ill or mortally injured. Why not the
urge to “ensure freshness” or “guaranty safety?” Perhaps bargain hunters deserve neither.
The same scenario can be applied to baked goods, especially
those doughnuts that are in those self-serve venues. Let us not forget the produce departments
around the nation, either.
Before I leave you, I must remind you of those ever-popular
salad bars. The next time you fill up
your plate with head lettuce, fake bacon bits, over-strong onions, and garbanzo
beans, think twice before you pour that ladle of dipped salad dressing on your
creation. Someone before you likely
stuck their unwashed finger in the vat of dressing to see if it tasted like her
own.
You’re welcomed.
