It’s time to get real with everything camouflage. Camouflage was developed – I don’t know when
it was developed but, I’m almost certain it was designed to be able to hide
people and things.
Somehow, during the past two decades, camouflage has
actually become fashionable. As of this
writing, it can be spotted in more places than Justin Bieber. And, I’m not sure why.
Guys and gals wear camo for hunting. For you city folk, “hunting” is an activity
by which one ventures into nature with a weapon and kills an animal for food
and clothing, and is revered as a biblical time-honored tradition in many parts
of what you might term “the sticks.”
Camouflage clothing is used so that the hunter has an equal
playing field, as the animals are naturally cloaked with their own camouflage
and blessed with extraordinary scents of smell, hearing and vision.
Such concealment is taken a step further by turkey and duck
hunters because their prey can see in color.
Yes, it seems as though deer and some other species are actually
color-blind. Hence, the mandatory use of
blaze orange for deer and most other hunters so that their hunting brethren
aren’t mistaken for game.
Let’s examine this weird anomaly of all things camo. Peruse most any hunting gear catalog and camouflage
gear is virtually everywhere.
There are wraps for your ATV and pickup truck, likely
because an animal won’t hear or notice a 4,000-pound vehicle driving through a
field or on a trail. There are electric
crock pots clad in camo, in case you need to whip up a pot of stew while you’re
in your deer blind, and there are camouflage bikinis in case your girlfriend
would like to take a quick dip in that icy stream in January. I spotted camo baby clothes for guys who must
combine baby-sitting duties and elk hunting.
I bring all this up because while shopping for a pair of
flip-flops I came across a pair in camouflage shades of green. Venturing off into the woods wearing
flip-flops would be foolish under the best of circumstances but, toting a rifle
through a forest or field wearing flimsy rubber pads on the soles of your feet
for protection so that a deer will not notice you, is insane. You see, my feet actually cover up the
camouflage part making these effective only if I were standing atop the deer
itself; although wearing camo, I dare say the deer would notice me at this
juncture.
More and more celebrities and other flashes-in-the-pan can
be seen sporting camo pants or shirts, perhaps to avoid detection by the
paparazzi seeking a photo or two. And all this is done at an extra cost as
certain companies make cloth with patterns of trees, brush, leaves, and sticks imprinted thereon, and claim the rights to it and charge a premium price
because they replicated yard debris.
All this is pretty silly for an attempt to stalk and kill an
animal that can’t detect color in the first place. It may just be time to say ‘enough’ when
buying hunting clothing and accessories.
While visiting a sporting goods store I tried on a wide-brimmed
camo hat to keep the rain and sun off my neck and ears while hunting. A salesman ambled up and asked if I needed
help; I stood silently and didn’t move.
He asked again and with my best startled look I told him I didn’t want
this hat as it was defective.
“What’s wrong with it?” was his question.
“You can still see me.
This is an inferior chapeau,” I retorted.
He shook his balding head and wandered off, and I saved
money by not buying a product that clearly didn’t work.
