Just as with wine, each day gets better. Foreigners dislike America because of our opulent lifestyle. So it is with a modicum of smugness I grin when discovering new, innovative products that make ours days better.
A few years ago, I learned of a spatula that neatly turned eggs without breaking the yokes. It was a magical discovery that likely made the rest of the world absolutely envious.
This past year Santa brought me an innovative product called “Eggies.” Eggies are plastic domes into which cracked raw eggs are placed. Once inside, the Eggie is dropped into hot water and boiled for a specified amount of time. It bobs around the pan of water, cooking the egg, perfectly. The Eggie is then opened and the hardboiled egg is removed. Its draw is that no peeling of the egg is necessary, which makes for quick, easy processing.
Each egg is perfectly cooked with the yoke simply extracted for processing into deviled eggs. These contraptions can also be used to cook liquid ‘egg product,’ resulting in egg-like shaped, well, congealed egg juice. I use ‘egg product’ because it has no cholesterol but, often like hardboiled eggs in my salads. Using Eggies in conjunction with egg product makes for this desired, healthy result.
But, today is even more special. Once again, I discovered a new, innovative product that is not only revolutionary but, also “green.”
“Green” is the new wave that supposedly will save our planet from self-destruction by re-using some products, and implementing renewable resources in others. A very noble - if fruitless – effort. But, I digress.
This new discovery is the Orgreenic fry pan that is coated with some space-age substance that prevents anything – anything – from sticking to it. The world’s worst cooks could burn these things with napalm and the Orgreenic fry pan will simply wipe clean. No fuss, no muss. They promise.
It seems as though that promise is to replace any Orgreenic pan with another if it is damaged. I’m sure this warranty lasts until the Orgreenic Fry Pan Company goes out of business. But, not to worry!
If you order one right now – that is RIGHT NOW – they will send you a second indestructible Orgreenic fry pan. You only need to include shipping costs which amount to nearly a third of the price of a pan.
But, why would anyone need two? One is guaranteed for life! And, what is that special coating that prevents anything from sticking to it? Which begs the question: How do they get that special coating to stick to the pan?
Be jealous of us, world!
