Temperatures in the eastern third
of the nation recently soared in the vicinity of 100⁰ for several consecutive days. Meteorologists gleefully inflated those
numbers to 114⁰+ for dramatic effect of something called the "heat index."
In any case, it’s been hot
here. Mosquitoes would buzz about your
head when sudden spontaneous combustion of them resulted in tiny puffs of
smoke, evoking a smattering of applause from potential victims.
Much of my three days of
oppressive heat should have been spent standing in the yard wearing chest
waders, with an ice chopper. I’ve been
waiting to break up arctic glaciers that are said to be melting and heading our
way. Finally, I’ll own waterfront
property.
In the event you missed it, much
of the sky-is-falling ersatz-scientists have been dashing around the planet,
weeping to anyone who would listen to them, talk about the dire mess called
“climate change.”
Climate change used to be “global
warming” until the Earth began to cool.
Climate change seemed a pretty convenient term to explain, to stupid
people like myself, the dire situation in which are now living.
And "living" is a tenuous word
because some of the gold standard of America
While this may seem frightening
to some, I take this as a sign from above.
Allow me to explain.
I’ve always been a car guy – a
guy who loves and can appreciate a beautiful automobile. However, I’ve been a poor car guy who can
merely look, but not touch.
Never being able to afford
something with that “Wow Factor,” I’ve been forced to rue my unstellar
financial decisions. Until now, that is.
Now, with good news concerning
the population’s imminent demise in a dozen years, I am now able to purchase
that Lamborghini or Ferrari, or both!
You see, it doesn’t really matter
how much the payments are, the finance companies won’t be able to collect
because they will be too busy with climate change and learning to swim.
Although pretty nebulous about
the dire effects of climate change, former Vice President Albert Gore has made
a career out of frightening most of the world about looming disasters, and even
produced an award-winning movie that promoted his environmental bologna.
An entire generation of
weak-minded youths learned all about how to defeat the climate change
disaster. And costly legislation has
been passed on the urging of renown environmental scientists such as Bill Nye,
Emma Thompson, Brad Pitt, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Redford, Gisele
Bundchen, and Leonardo DiCaprio, all of whom have added their two-cents on how to
handle this crisis.
Thank goodness for such
intelligent people who actually pretend for a living to take time to explain to
us ignorants who don’t know better.
Of course, it was Al Gore who
spun all this up with his climate initiative of stopping climate change with
the imposition of taxes/fines for producing carbon. He called this initiative “carbon credits.”
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| Al Gore's next door neighbor |
It seems as though he could form
a company that collected money to pay for excess carbon. That money would somehow stop climate
change. No one is quite sure how,
though.
Perhaps he is going to take
fifty-dollar bills, load them into confetti cannons, then shoot them into space
to change the climate.
He could also use hundred-dollar
bills, too, thereby requiring only half as many.
But Mr. Gore insists the oceans
are now rising to record levels causing seaside towns to flood, and the weather
is getting hotter resulting in more, and more violent, hurricanes.
With such clearly impending
disasters, one would think Mr. Gore would find a personal residence in Iowa or Nebraska California
Aren’t these a bit too close to
the water’s edge for glacier flooding?
According to them and newly elected Congressbabe Alexandria Ocazio-Cortez, yes.
But then there’s that old
saying: “Screw you. I’ve got mine.”
