Here’s some good news: If you are
not a Catholic – Roman, Coptic, Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, Assyrian,
or otherwise, you may stop reading now, and go clean your bathroom.
I have a really personal bone to
pick with the Catholic Church, and it’s about time to tell the truth.
My formative years were spent in
a blue collar town, attending a parochial elementary school. That school was instrumental in ensuring our
proper indoctrination into the faith by teaching daily catechism and Latin, so
that we could pray and understand the ritual Mass.
We also attended church services
on holy days of obligation, and the Ten Commandments were differentiated from
the Ten Suggestions followed in other religions. School time was all about treating
one-another with kindness and respect – just as we would treat Jesus if he was
in our presence.
This nine-year regimen ended with
my attendance in a public high school; the differences between a parochial and
public school were dramatic. Standards
were clearly apparent when it came to in-class, and home, work. The ‘new’ subjects in high school had already
been covered in sixth grade. Excelling
was fairly easy with no real challenges ahead.
But those religious teachings and
church attendance habits remained throughout much of my adult life.
I continued to be present at church
for every holy day, and the prescribed Sundays.
It was years later that I met my
sainted girlfriend who would eventually become my sainted wife. We set a date for our wedding, and the
process began. A reception hall was
reserved, caterer hired, music obtained, and invitations engraved.
I called my thirteen-year parish
pastor to attempt to obtain the church for our religious wedding. It was at this point the pastor declined to
talk to me because I needed to go to six-months of marriage counseling before
the wedding. I was unaware of such a
thing.
We only had four-months before
this special day was set, but this holy man promptly informed me that there was
no room for discussion; the rules were carved into stone, and the onus was on
me to comply. Amen.
If I did not attend the
counseling, and subsequently marry in the Catholic Church, I was going to be
excommunicated.
In the event you are not
Catholic, and don’t know what excommunication is, please allow me to explain.
Excommunication is the process of
officially removing someone from receiving the sacraments of the Church. In layman’s terms, I can no longer go to
Mass, receive communion, and cannot go to Heaven because I can’t get the
sacrament of extreme unction.
No appeal would be considered as
the rules were the rules. Nuff said.
That was a long way to get to my
real gripe which officially begins here.
Although I still pray and
actually attained ordination of my own in a different religion. Pope Francis,
the infallible leader of the Roman Catholic Church, who many believe is a
Communist plant, recently made a major announcement about severely declining
attendance numbers.
It seems as though many, many
Catholics are tired of Comrade Pope Francis’ ultra liberal directives that many
feel are antithetical to traditional teachings in the catechism.
To better cope with this
attendance dilemma, which goes hand-in-hand with cash revenue, Pope Francis is
considering allowing older married men to become priests to serve and minister
in remote areas of the globe.
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| Senator Kennedy's poor parking skills killed a woman, too |
This news is distressing because
it involves major policy alterations, much as the divorce and remarriage of the
late Senator Edward Kennedy. It also
flies counter to Sitting New York Catholic Governor Mario Cuomo, who just
introduced legislation to allow the murder of babies – up to the time they are
exiting a woman’s womb.
It hurts me to see flagrant
violators of Catholic policies and tenets be applauded, while my situation is
stalled in limbo.
But all this reminds me of a
Groucho Marx quote: “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people
like me as a member.”
