Glass Balls

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”  Christmas is quickly approaching on the calendar.

Sugarplum fairies are dancing about, candy canes are everywhere, and people are, once again, saying “Merry Christmas!” to one another.

I’ve had Sirius satellite radio for nearly two decades.  Although it is now SiriusXM, I enjoy their service because commercial ads are limited or non-existent.  They also offer specialized programming of sports, live concerts, and music by the decade.

But this time of year they offer around-the-clock Holiday Music; that’s their term, not mine. 

Christmas is a Christian holiday, honoring and remembering the virgin birth of Baby Jesus.

As a Christian, this holiday is a pretty big deal.  Just behind Easter Sunday, this day is held special, but not for presents and such.

Decorated trees are great, gold and silver tinsel, glass balls, lighted angels, miniature lights, and gaily wrapped gifts remain integral parts of the season.

SiriusXM have it right.  As of November 1^st, they began broadcasting that non-stop Christmas music, albeit on a limited basis.

Burl Ives, The Carpenters, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, and the normal host of familiar others sing their way into the New Year, commercial free.  Yea!  Countless replays of Mariah Carey caterwauling – as if she was being beaten with a violin – are some of the special “gifts” that keep me coming back for more.  But I digress.

As an aside, while we’re talking about Christmas tunes, one song mentions “figgy pudding.”  This is ridiculous, as I have three fig trees and figs are not in-season in December, November, or October, and they won’t keep until Christmas Day.  But I digress.

Everyone tries to get in on the holiday spirit.  Stores have continuous sales with Black Friday and Cyber Monday.  Countless trees lose their lives for all those extra newspaper flyers and cheesy wrapping paper.  And craft fairs are beginning to popup at nearly every Eastern Shore church.

All this commerce is terrific for the economy.  Practically everyone wants to either sell something or buy something for the Christmas season.

So it was with interest that I noticed, for the past decade, or so, that the easily offended among us wanted America to stop using the words “Merry Christmas.”

The reasoning behind this verbal communication campaign was to protect the ears of our Jewish friends.  They don’t believe Jesus was the Son of Man, the Savior.  With such reasoning, Merry Christmas is offensive to Jewish folks.

On the other hand, Neil Diamond, Barbra Streisand, Jimmy Buffet, and Adam Sandler, all Jews, don’t mind cashing in on the Christmas season with their songs.  I’m sure their royalties make them feel better about themselves and their bank accounts.  And so, the words “Happy Holiday” are not really necessary since our Jewish brethren are giddy to participate in this profitable season.

So, if it were not for Saint Joseph, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and Baby Jesus, the Christmas season would be less lucrative for so many.

Merry Christmas to all!

I’m Not Kidding

Growing up, I heard plenty, on the news, about airplane hijackings.  Nutjobs, seemingly monthly, would take an airplane’s crew hostage with some sort of weapon, and then make them fly to a place other than its original destination.

Although this happened world-wide, I recall the flights that were often diverted to Cuba.  Perhaps not limited to what is today known as terrorism, these criminal acts certainly fit today’s definition of terrorism.

Terrorism is the act of putting fear into people through frightening occurrences that the victims feel could cost them their lives.

September 11, 2001, marked a day when foreign terrorists, who were in this country illegally, four hijacked commercial airplanes loaded with innocent passengers were sent into oblivion.

Until this day, counterterrorism experts are attempting to figure out why those mentally ill cowards commandeered those planes to kill nearly 3,000 blameless Americans.

Varying excuses for these heinous deeds include they were subjected to poverty at an early age, they were angry at sexual freedom in America, and they simply hated non Muslims.

Just today I came across something I consider frivolous, but is pretty costly and totally unnecessary.

This item is a pancake printer.  These are two words I never thought I’d put together, but now I can without ridicule.

It seems as though a company is selling something called PancakeBot, which is a printer of sorts.

PancakeBot

You merely connect this 3-D printer to your computer, place the carriage that dispenses the pancake batter atop a griddle, and voila!

The computer is used to generate pictures of nearly anything you’d like to create as a breakfast treat.  Company ads for this must-have gem show an Eiffel Tower flapjack cooking away.

The best news is one of these contraptions can be had for the low, low price of $300.

If anything, I’ve got my Christmas wish list nearly complete, now.  But I digress.

In any case, it was some serious philosophical introspection that got me thinking.

Those wacko terrorists could have another reason to hate Americans, other than for its non-Muslim majority.

Perhaps, just perhaps, it is an invention that can create a work-of-art pancake in the likeness of the United States of America, Donald Trump, or even Smokey the cat.

You see, many of those psycho terrorists live or lived in desert conditions without air conditioning, indoor plumbing, running water, or electricity.  They don’t use toilet paper, yet they consider bacon unclean.

They arise in the morning to learn how to jump off a moving motorcycle and shoot at random people at cafés and citizens with baby strollers, all to make a point.  In-between, they school one-another in how to build bomb vests.  All this sounds pretty angry.

Perhaps if they used the PancakeBot they would enjoy life a bit more to be able to

skillet-up a facsimile of a Koran.  I may be on to something.

America is still the greatest pancake country in a world of infidels.