Hummingbirds have left The Shore
for the season, Canada Geese are heading south, and Christmas decorations are
being removed from shelves in the stores to make room for St. Valentine’s Day
gifts. All this can mean only one thing
– it’s two weeks before Halloween.
My sainted wife and I were
picking up provisions from the big city Tallmart and thought we would buy some
theme salt and pepper shakers.
Sure, we have regular, everyday
shakers, but I thought this year we would be jazzier and get some special
shakers for Thanksgiving. We wanted some
that were both germane and generic so that they can be used for both Halloween
and Thanksgiving; they would need to be in an autumn subject.
Just last week we found some that
were in the shape of and over-sized acorn, for pepper; the salt shaker was in
the image of a turkey. Of course we
didn’t buy them.
Here’s a freebie from
EasternShoreFishAndGame.com: to tell the difference between a salt and pepper
shaker, count the number of holes. Salt
has two holes, while the pepper has three.
You’re welcome.
We wanted a new set because we
are planning for our Thanksgiving Day dinner at which we will host several
hungry friends. The good news is that we
don’t need to find space to store these niche shakers; they were sold out.
So we wandered through the candy
aisle in hopes they weren’t sold out of the Halloween candy, too.
Of course, only the good stuff
was gone. Peanut butter-filled chocolate
cups, twin chocolate and caramel wafer sticks, and filled lollipops, were all
but gone. Plenty of Mary Janes and
Tootsie Rolls and candy corn remained on the shelf. Our only hope rested with non-cavity health
food.
We were in luck. The produce department was chock-full of baby
carrots, celery, and bok choy.
After a brief spat that my
sainted wife handily won, fearing a toilet papering, we headed toward the snack
area. There, we found small bags of both
pretzels and mini containers of golden fish crackers. They were packaged for distribution to neighborhood
ghouls.
In our little Eastern
Shore town, whose population totals just over 140 people, seven of
which may already be deceased, parents actually drive their lazy kids from
street-to-street to beg for loot.
The way this scenario is supposed
to work is they knock on the door. Upon us
opening, the Halloweenies shout “Trick or treat!” That is the cue for the frightened homeowners
to gladly hand out goodies to preclude any Night of the Dead Eve’s shenanigans.
Unfortunately, many of these
costumed beggars can’t speak English unless they need to contact a lawyer or
demand food stamps. But, I digress.
And so it goes for a few
hours. Likenesses of Superman, fairy
princesses, pirates, and even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – people shop at
second-hand stores – filter through the October 31st process.
Every once in a while, you look
up to find one of these trick-or-treaters with a five-day beard and a Marlboro
hanging out of his yap, holding a pillow case containing candy, four blunts,
and two car stereos.
But kids delight in getting free
stuff from the neighborhood, while dressing up for this pagan holiday.
I hope I can still find a Santa
and Rudolph salt and pepper shaker.
