As usual, my invitation to appear
as a commencement speaker was lost-in-the-mail.
Mail service on The Eastern Shore is tenuous, at best. But, I digress.
As a high school and college
graduate, I still recall my two commencement speeches, along with the speakers
themselves. They were motivational, but
not stirring. As usual, they contained
pretty useless information about traipsing out into the world to help
others. Rah.
These were the same type of
lectures offered at church. Amen.
In any case, I am offering this
essay to assist those intellectual and emotional sponges who would rather
receive the truth about the tomorrow, instead of some secular fluff.
It is an honor to stand before
you today as your humble tour guide to your future in the real world. Many of you pity me as an old guy who needs
to be taken back to “the home,” while the astute among you see me as a wise
sage. Both views are correct.
Decades ago I sat right where you
are now sitting. I too went through all
the trials and tribulations of trigonometry, physics, and English term papers,
as well as discovering my sexuality, time management skills, and social
development abilities.
I also dabbled with alcohol,
cigarettes, and drugs, satisfying my curiosity with all.
But all of this taught me that
not only did I have before me a heaping plate of unfamiliar topics and vices, I
also had a wide variety of choices to take.
And I had to choose wisely.
Some of my then-cohorts didn’t
select their options well, and are still suffering from those poor decisions.
To be precise, some of the big
men on campus – otherwise known as BMOCs – have been stuck in 1974 for decades
with dead end jobs, failed marriages, and non-existent retirement plans. Still, they ran 30-yards for a touchdown one
Saturday afternoon. Rah.
Their receding hairlines, stomach
paunches, and rusty Ford Mavericks, are still in fashion in their own little
worlds.
Now I didn’t fare much better in
life. But is did learn how to manage my
school and work time, earned monies, and brief recreation moments.
I suppose the best way to keep
this speech both brief and poignant is to sum everything up in the next few
sentences.
I’m not trying to lecture you
about doing what is right, or ensuring your community is fulfilled by your
efforts, or your efforts will keep the planet spinning.
I am merely trying to tell you
that at your age you know the difference between right and wrong, good and bad.
None of you are pioneers in the
arena of temptations, physical and mental changes, and grueling course
schedules. You are novices when your
time to find jobs, work with others, be employed by a company whose goal is to
turn a profit, and follow established rules, finally arrives. And that day is nigh.
God gave you two ears and one
mouth, so that you can listen twice as much as you talk, according to Judge
Judy. She is right.
If you need questions answered,
ask your elders; they likely know the answer, and they will give you the
unvarnished truth.
Lastly, if you feel the need to
protest something – anything – do it after you have a job, and do it
peacefully. If you don’t have a job, you
have no dog in most fights; if you protest peacefully, you exude maturity. That’s important.
To that end, I wish you
well. I also encourage you to think
about the consequences of your actions, or lack thereof. The choice is yours.
Godspeed. I’ll be at “the home,” if you need me.
