My sainted wife was scheduled to
meet a previously unknown relative in the form of a small child. Since they live about 800 miles away from us,
the trip is not convenient for anyone involved.
Five years past and this tyke and
his Mom were finally “in the area,” staying about only 200 away. She thought this was a good opportunity to
make her move to become acquainted with the remainder of her already sparse
family.
She was going solo on this
mission. Gifts were in order. We set off to find the perfect offerings for
a pleasant visit.
Since neither my sainted wife nor
I have children, we are absolutely clueless as to what children like or
dislike. This is clear when children of
friends stop by and she wants to give the kiddies a glass of scotch rather than
lemonade. But I digress.
A stop at the toy section
revealed my true age when 98% of the goods were unidentifiable to me. In fact, the only items I did recognize were
bicycles and a deck of cards.
As a child myself, I was given a
stick and an old spatula to play in the dirt around the garden. I constructed roads, made guard rails, and
pushed little toy cars around as a way to occupy my mush-brain years.
Of course I had an Erector Set,
but was not allowed to play with it, lest I lose those teeny nuts and bolts
that were needed to secure the steel girders together. Yes, the parts were made from real steel with
parts that anyone of any age was able to swallow. But few did because they were important to
the construction process.
In any case, the closest thing to
an Erector Set we could find were Legos.
Legos are plastic – made from oil by-products – and sold to
environmentalists who want the world to stop oil drilling.
Evidently there are many kits
available for purchase to enable children to build upon to create cities,
complete with jets, emergency vehicles, and boats.
One item of interest was a pretty
large Lego add-on set called Lego
Prison Island
It seems as though once Lego
cities are built, Lego people – also sold separately – can be purchased to make
things more realistic. Crowded streets
with Lego people crossing against the light, Lego people throwing trash on the
Lego sidewalks, and Lego bus drivers missing Lego passengers at Lego bus stops
all add to the reality.
With a well-equipped Lego city, I
suppose one could expect Lego people to resort to a life of Lego crime. In such a place, the down-trodden folks
living in the Lego slum might resort to building a Lego meth lab.
Before long, the meth junkies
would likely begin burglarizing Lego cars and stealing the Lego car radios to
pawn them to get a few Lego bucks to buy more Lego dope. Eventually, a Lego street
The dead would go the Lego
Morgue.
Through the Lego Courthouse,
these Lego miscreants would be subject to trial. Those convicted would be remanded to the
aforementioned Lego
Prison Island
Inside the prison were little
Lego prisoners replete with prison stripes.
I didn’t see any prison showers or prison shanks but, they’re likely
available at an extra cost.
No wonder why kids have it good
today.
