Good News, Bad News, No News

Not Whoopi Goldberg

 Firstly, here’s the good news: Samuel L. Jackson, Whoopi Goldberg, George Lopez, Jon Stewart, Cher, Miley Cyrus, Al Sharpton, Eddie Griffin, and someone named Raven-Symoné, all vow to leave the United States if Donald Trump is elected president.

This is actually terrific news as these goofs have been earning a living gouging Americans for many years, playing on the emotions of the less-intelligent among us.

Samuel L. Jackson, Whoopi, and Señor Lopez, earn a living pretending.  Yes, they play act to make money, and they get lots of it.  There are not a great deal of other countries that would allow these loafers to gad about the country bad-mouthing our elected officials, military, and upstanding, hard-working citizens, while taking in millions from the weak minded.

Samuel L. Jackson, avowed racist, said he hoped the San Bernadino Muslim terrorist killers “were crazy white boys” instead of peaceful Muslims.  Too bad, dude.

Whoopi Goldberg is another empty suit who hates anyone with half-a-brain and will vote for a Conservative, or someone who enjoys the benefits of the Second Amendment.  Nice.

Jon Stewart is an alleged comedian who spends his time maligning former President George W. Bush and anyone who believes in God.  Of course, the imbeciles in our midst laugh and formulate voting opinions based upon his slanted idea of what is good for America.

Eddie Griffin is another alleged comedian who claims he would rather vote for African racist Kanye West over Mr. Trump.  Now that’s funny!

Mylie Cyrus, the trollop we all watched grow from a Disney star into a porn queen, now has advice for her followers: Dump Trump or I’ll leave.  Bon Voyage!

Cher, the singer, actress, and wrinkle-free political wonk, promised to “move to Jupiter” if Mr. Trump was elected.  This is great news for NASA who has been searching for someone to engage in interstellar travel.  Too bad she’s too old to even travel to that old-age farm, Florida.

And lastly there’s a woman named Raven-Symoné who I’m not really sure what she does for a living.  She may be a welfare queen for all I know.  In any case, shee promised to leave the country if Me. Trump simply won the primaries.  We now know she is not a Mensa member.

The bad news in all of this is that none of these self-important assclowns will actually make good on their promises, er, carry out their threats.  In fact, they will do nothing but grouse for the next four-to-eight years about how awful our leader is, unless a Democrat wins the election.

This same thing happened when President George W. Bush was elected.  Brilliant entertainers such as Barbra Streisand, Julie Chen, Oprah Winfrey, Alec Baldwin, Madonna, and Jerry Lewis – I thought he was dead – all promised the same thing in 2001.  They all lied.  That’s the “no news” part.  Actually, it’s the bad news part, too.

Here’s an idea: Keep your promises.  Go!