Once again I was suckered in to
watching a television show I had no intention of watching. Ever. Never.
This show is about people
ardently searching for itsy bitsy houses and the angst their quest creates.
It seems today’s people aged 24
through 40, are looking to buy houses on-the-cheap because of too many
astronomic bills that face them. To get
a cheap house, those houses need to be microscopic.
This one particular couple was
recently married after graduating from college, and is now stuck with well into
six-digit debt, likely well into their geriatric years.
Because a “normal” house, costing
$150,000 to $300,000, would be out of the question, they opted to visit some
hermit-like goof named Todd to construct an itsy bitsy house to suit their
needs.
They visited a Quonset hut filled
with carpentry tools to pour over plans conjured up by hashing out the
difference between wants and needs; the line there is very slim, indeed.
Husband Biff loves to mountain
climb, bike ride, read, and protest against traditional American values. Muffy, on the other hand, enjoys reading,
cooking, beekeeping, and raising chickens.
Yep.
Todd, with the deftness of a
brain surgeon, patiently constructs the list to be used for drawing-out the
architect phase of this one-hour program.
He begins by asking these pukes
what they are willing to sacrifice to make this down-sized abode a reality.
“Nothing!” exclaims Biff. “I sacrificed enough during my college
years!”
Muffy adorably adds,
“Likewise. My best years have already
been spent in classrooms and it’s time to explore the world.”
Todd’s number two pencil lays
down lines over intersecting lines, altered with the benefit of a gum eraser to
correct any possible faux pas before
the actual construction begins.
Eventually, after another run of
six commercials, we are at the point of catching a glimpse of this
made-from-whole-cloth masterpiece.
A rectangular metal frame is the
base for this box on wheels. A frame,
siding, roof, and a ladder are added to protect these two austere lives and
provide access to their loft bedroom.
Biff is now down to fifty feet of
rappelling rope and three t-shirts and two pairs of underwear. Muffy is now stowing her athletic bra, two
pairs of socks, and a scrunchie for her hair.
The deodorant and soap are now
considered luxuries, as is toilet paper, for their bathroom that doubles as a
chicken coop.
Bicycles hang off the porch, and
the beehives are now a thing of the past.
So much for fresh honey.
In any case, this 400 square foot
house cost only a small fraction of what a real house costs, and it has
wheels. This way Biff and Muffy can
travel anywhere they want, when they want.
It’s not as though they have jobs
to do. Perhaps they could have bought a
travel trailer with more space that cost less.
This is the future of America
