My sainted wife says she hates
“reality shows.” That is until it comes
to the cooking contest “reality shows.”
I put those words in quotes
because there is nothing real about them except the time wasted watching them.
To satisfy my curiosity – much
like slowing to look at a train wreck – I, too watch them. They are, at best, hokey because they are all
staged to keep the viewers coming back for more.
Akin to penance for burning pork
chops at home, audience members watch amateur chefs and wanna-be cooks week
after week until the winner is named to the same grunts.
“I can’t believe they won!?!” is
the usual response following the finale.
Of course, this was not by
chance. I have a better chance of being
named the next pope, than some of these contestants winning.
They are too predictable. The contestants are always a mixed bag of
weird and seem to conform to a long-standing formula to attract viewers. For some reason, the series run must reflect
society. Likely, this is to maintain viewers
who will cheer or jeer for certain contestants.
You will notice some people vying
for the prize are meek, some are brash, others are arrogant, and at least one
contestant is an egomaniac.
Each has a story of woe. They were raised by a single mother, or they
swam – blindfolded - from Thailand
to California
And, the social experiment
continues with the make-up of the show itself.
Here’s what you’ll see: one funky
white guy, one hunky white guy, one fairly attractive white woman, one Latino
woman or man, one fearsome-looking black guy, one black lesbian, one timid
white woman bedecked with tattoos, and one white woman with wildly-dyed
hair. At least one of this cast of
misfits will wear a stupid hat of some sort.
And, lest we forget about the flamboyantly gay guy who is obligated to
lisp and swish.
Throughout the course of each
contest tempers will flare, romances will start and end, someone will get their
feelings hurt, a few will brag about their skills and abilities, and all will
believe they can actually prevail over the rest.
These “chefs” will duke it out
throughout the course of time and eventually be eliminated by their
popularity. However, the trouble-makers
are guaranteed to remain until the last two episodes just to enable them to create
turmoil and excitement.
Sure, I’ll continue to watch and
my sainted wife will remain loyal but, not to see who wins. Rather, I’ll watch to see if my wagering will
pay off.
