They don’t call me “bwana.”
In my life I have seen the bowels of many forests and fields on my
mission to cull game animals for food.
Some of those jaunts occurred in Virginia, others in Florida , and many in New York State
Quietly sitting in leaves or pine straw beneath a mossy tree
on a chilly day permits all sorts of cranial activity to percolate. Where’s Bigfoot?
A vacuum bottle filled with hot coffee warms me throughout
the wait for unwary game to stumble into my line-of-fire.
Last week I decided to upgrade my life and trade-in my old
steam-powered cellular phone for a new “smart phone.”
These new phones are a technological wonder. Being able to access the internet and make
phone calls, while toting around your music collection, promises to make my
existence easier and more pleasant.
One terrific feature is the camera portion. It contains a still and video camera that
takes beautiful photos with ease. It
even has the capability to edit pictures, garnishing them with special colors,
hues, and tones.
It seems as though you cannot turn on a television show or
newscast without seeing a video taken by someone with a smart phone.
It also feels as though there are more television shows that
have Bigfoot themes. Finding Bigfoot
seems to be America
As a kid, I remember seeing a grainy video taken by a logger
in the northwest who happened to have an eight-millimeter film camera with him
in the woods. While cutting down a
tree. In the middle of nowhere. In the rain.
Sure.
This axe man just happened to capture surprising film images
of Bigfoot that was strolling across a newly-cut field of timber.
Not only do they not call me bwana, they do not call me a
cryptozoologist. A cryptozoologist is a
person who seeks to solve mysteries of nature that seem to have baffled
scientists for years. Included in this
list of elusive critters are the Loch Ness Monster, Mothman, Chessie, and
Bigfoot.
In case you just awoke from a years-long coma, Bigfoot
resembles a large ape, walking on his two hind legs, making him bipedal. Throughout the country, this elusive cryptid
has been dodging the paparazzi for decades, all using different names in
different areas.
They all have two traits in common, though. They are terribly frightening with their
blood-curdling howls, and dreadfully camera-shy.
My question is simple.
Since I’m officially the last person in the country to get a smart phone
with a camera, why hasn’t anyone else taken a recent photo or video of Bigfoot?
