True Story of Thanksgiving, Almost

By popular demand, this story is being re-issued just in time for the 2025 turkey holiday.  Please enjoy it and eat lots!

  Every year we hear more about the secular holiday, Thanksgiving Day.  It means many things to many different people, and most of what you now hear is bunk. 

 

Buttinski’s – folks who don’t have lives of their own, so they want to get involved in yours – have been trying to rid America of this special day of gluttony and sports and naps.

 

They try to blame the extermination of Indians on the white man, and claim the original immigrants were vegetarians.

 

It’s time to gather the family around the table and read the real story of Thanksgiving Day to them. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

Pilgrims, Puritans, and Indians

 Back in 1621, the Pilgrims and Puritans, who were transplants from that awful place, Europe, finally had a good harvest of crops and decided to celebrate to give thanks.

 

Puritans were people who left England for more religious freedom, while Pilgrims were common folk who were escaping high taxes and reality TV shows.

 

Weather was terrible – too much rain, snow, not enough rain, hail, drought, and pestilence, caused poor harvests for years.  At last, ideal weather, along with better farming techniques, helped these refugees produce a great crop.

 

In the interim, many immigrants died from both starvation and diseases so, this bounty was true cause for celebration.

 

The Indians were patiently waiting for the Europeans to die so they could get their hands on those neat black coats and buckled hats, but alas.

 

To ingratiate themselves, and get the best fit of the clothing, they assisted the Pilgrims and Puritans by feeding them until sizes were perfect.

 

The Indians gathered turkeys and stuffing and mashed potatoes to help fatten-up the nasty white folks.  All worked well until this terrific harvest, when the homeboys no longer needed the Indians’ food.  That’s when the great massacre happened.

 

Known as the First Civil War, the ungrateful white folks tried to kill all the Indians and began naming all their football and baseball teams after them as a way to slur them.

 

This program worked so well that it took nearly 400 years to make things better for the last living Indian, Pocahontas.

 

Enlightened college students figured all this out and, driven by “white guilt” and “white privilege,” had begun campaigns to eliminate all sports teams with Indian names by 1633.

 

They even changed the name of Indians to “Native Americans.”  All seems to be working out well for them.

 

Pocahontas got her image on a coin.  Or was it Sacagawea?  I'm not sure.

 

In any case, the Europeans added an amendment to The Constitution to have everyone in America eat turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and cranberry sauce for dinner, and sweet potato pie for dessert.

 

That same Amendment – the 38^th – requires football and basketball games to be played on that day.  And it made Keno legal in 17 states.

 

In 1637, Macy’s decided to have a parade, and Santa Clause showed up to celebrate, too.

 

But in an ardent effort to include African-Americans in this strictly white holiday, the Pilgrims and Puritans invented Black Friday.

 

And everyone lived happily ever-after.

 

That’s the truth.  Almost. 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Us vs. Them

 

  Over the past few decades our social structure has undergone an enormous transformation. In the late 1990’s, or so, civility began to disappear from the United States’ landscape.

Witnessed on television in the 1960’s, shows such as Laugh-In, Saturday Night Live, and Second City TV, were the main players making fun of the societal norms of the times. Whether it was race relations, gender differences, or fine political points, much of the fare appearing therein was generally light hearted ribbing.

We grew up with a good laugh or polite chuckle when our national origin, verbal accent, or skin color was mentioned as a means to both include us in the “conversation” as well as noting our apparent differences. But all was good.

Throughout the 1950’s, television introduced America to something termed “late night television.” It was on later – following prime time TV, and usually began airing following the 11:00 PM news. With hosts such as Steve Allen, Jack Paar, and Johnny Carson serving as the pioneers, late night television was fresh, daily.

Late night talk show pioneer
Steve Allen

Jokes, gags, and skits peppered these hour-long programs that often-included current political mentions cleverly disguised as tongue-in-cheek news items. Examples would be The President driving his golf ball into a tree before it rebounded onto his head, or some over-served Congressman falling down the steps of the Capitol. Harmless, but humorous.

Eventually, though, because of being within the throes of the Vietnam War, War of the Sexes, War on Poverty, Drug War, and the recently enacted Civil Rights Act, things shifted from cutesy and mundane to ugly and adversarial.

While all these changes were transforming into information, the news organizations were slow or nonexistent in painting a picture of this metamorphosis. But why?

It was their job to dig deeply into the concerns and happening of the day, hence the name “news.” It seems as though the media – print and TV alike – were already being infiltrated by Leftists, groomed by colleges in classes meant to report goings-on in the world in order to keep the masses informed.

These newly minted reporters were the recent products of a slanted crop of people expected to provide the multitude with, not only information, but true and accurate information. Instead, the “news” suddenly, magically became “opinions.”

Being taught by Leftist/Communist professors, the freshly minted creators of these opinions felt untouchable.

Nearly every decent-sized city had enough readers to buy newspapers to suit their taste as well as interest. Such audiences were ideal to sustain two different newspapers; one would be liberal, written by Leftists, and the other paper would likely bridge the gap by Conservatives. And all was supposed to be well from a perspective of balance.

The same held true for the late night television shows that anxiously found “new, cutting edge” hosts to contort the humorous jokes into outright savagery targeting Conservatives along with their supporters. It didn’t take long for the jokes to turn questionable bordering on toxic.

The transformation had begun to make the burgeoning information age tastelessly vapid.

Of course, as with virtually every movement there needs to be at least two sides. In this case, it was the Left vs. Conservatives. In other words, Us vs. Them. And there would be no winner.

According to Communist Party (CP) playbooks, the people are used as the pawns who will gladly heed the beckon of the CP handlers. In this case, they are the teachers. First, the “educators” attempted to drive a wedge between the K through 12 children. Introducing terms such as “latch-key kids” into he narrative, the impression was implied that children were not being fed due to working parents.

After a successful run to acquire public monies to “help” with feeding them, it was tacitly felt kids weren’t learning about the proverbial birds and bees, at home, from their parents. Now it was time to fill that void with lessons in sex-ed, that contained classes on how to have sex, use condoms, get birth control advice, plus where to find abortions that would be given without parents’ knowledge.

All the while, those same kids were prohibited from playing, tag, dodge ball, or any other activity that might have a deleterious effect on either the kiddies or their psyches. They were to be protected at all costs. They were both fragile and valuable. But who would know better how to raise their own offspring?

Then-First Lady Saint Hillary Rodham Clinton, published a book under her name, “It Takes a Village,” in 1998. This masterpiece was another step toward a socialist – soon to become a capital “C” Communist society eyed for the United States.

This book argued for shared responsibility needed to successfully raise children. St. Hillary “describes herself as a Moderate, which is evidenced by a combination of advocating for government-driven social reforms while also espousing conservative values,” according to Wikipedia.

Some of the goals and institutions that Clinton advocates for in the book include: Family and Medical Leave Act, Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act, Community Policing, the Brady Bill, Amber Alert, immunizations, State Children’s Health Insurance program, financial regulation, expanded Child Tax Credits, Minimum Wage increases, universal Health Care, to name only a few, Wikipedia continues.

If you’ll notice, neatly tucked therein are ways the guvment can insert its talons into YOUR family’s life, with authority and without recourse. In case you missed it, health care, gun control, mandatory vaccinations, financial snooping, wealth redistribution, and additional law enforcement involvement.

Taking a step back, it’s not difficult to see where the last 27-years have gone, and how it changed. Feeling as though she remains relevant, St. Hillary is desperately grabbing for the brass ring to another ride into infiltrating the White House.

Unfortunately for the sleazy Democrats, Donald John Trump twice made the leap from private citizen to President of the United States, thwarting the Democrats from seizing the reins of power again in a consecutive run of controlling the three branches of guvment.

Such a coup would have guaranteed a national transition to the proverbial end of the Republican Party. And thank Heaven for enough common sense Americans who wisely voted for President Trump who quickly ended the blatant invasion of our once sovereign nation.

This latest election put a screeching halt to much of the mayhem introduced and encouraged by the desperate Democrat losers who brought us to this evident dumpster fire. Of course, a slew of local elections for state assembly persons, mayors, and aldermen, have proven the point that there’s a sucker born every minute.

Practically begging a new breed of morons to vote for, and elect, candidates for office that openly promised to confiscate private property – including homes, stores, manufacturing, - in addition to “giving” lots of free stuff to the downtrodden, those half-witted voters firmly placed several handfuls of Communists in elected office, nationwide.

The barometer of civility and stupidity is indicating stormy times ahead, because all that “free” stuff must be paid by someone. If you’re reading this, that someone will eventually be us. Add the estimated 12,000,000 illegal alien invaders to this sordid bastardization of morality, and we are looking at a future that is no bueno.

The Thems know exactly what is happening because they instituted this poop hurricane and continue to promote it. Unfortunately, it is the Us that will ultimately carry the burden of any and all progressive goodies.

It’s past time to educate yourself, as well as your friends and family. This master plan is not new; rather, it is a failed system of government that is repeatedly exhumed time-after-time by the elite on the Left.

Thems think, though, that this time Communism is implemented it will be different because this time it is being run by smarter people: Them. Them are wrong. Simply ask the starving populaces in China, N. Korea, or Russia. They, too were promised everything “free!”

If you don’t believe me, just watch and listen to their grifting promises – an approach to life very different from scholastic efforts and hard work.

There you have it: Us vs. Them.

Name Change

 

  A fellow named Kris Kristofferson, who died in 2024, wrote the song “Me and Bobby McGee” which was performed by the late Janis Joplin, decades ago. Within those lyrics is a phrase “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”

That song along with its lyrics have been analyzed, reanalyzed and analyzed again to determine what special, hidden meaning might be hiding therein since it was released in 1970. For those readers too young to remember, the 1970’s represented the tail end of the hippie generation and associated peace movement.

After 55-years of deciphering, discussion, and speculation, it was determined – and confirmed before his death – Kristofferson claimed that those words were merely words. There was nothing deep and spiritual therein.

But another song, The National Anthem, contains the words, “Land of the free…” referring to the United States of America. In this stately song, also known as The Star Spangled Banner, is the official song of our nation.

It is the word “free” that implies since America’s divorce from Great Britain in the 1770’s, we Americans have the ability to do and say anything we want freely. This struggle to break free from England was every bit as monumental as new spiritual sects formed to meet the wants of those dissatisfied parishioners in the religious world.

Unhappy with King George III, people in the New World here still ruled with iron fisted rules and laws bordering on tortuous. Without rehashing the Revolutionary War, suffice it to say, The United States of America was soon born and continues to this day based upon a brilliant document: The United States Bill of Rights.

This Bill of Rights, sewn out of whole cloth, lain out ten amendments known as The Bill of Rights, on which is based our current Constitution, now consisting of 27 Amendments. It is the oldest written national constitution still in use, which speaks volumes for the Founding Fathers who crafted this remarkable guide back in the late 1780’s.

The First Amendment is chock full o’ so-called freedoms: speech, religion, press, assembly, are all specifically mentioned therein. And for nearly 250-years, this document has served America well for helping keep our sleazy politicians at bay. But things, as of late, have changed dramatically.

The Constitution is not – I repeat, NOT – a list of rights that are given to you by anyone except God. Those rights were well thought out to remind residents of the newly-forming United States. No one has the authority to nullify those rights, either.

Yet, not a day seems to pass without someone who is self-aggrieved complains about how they are – or feel as though they are – being directly affected by either a real or imagined slight. And to that end, the entire population must become involved. Like it or not.

Take, for example an apparent epidemic of sex changes among school-aged children. Youngsters are being instructed to examine their inner selves to ensure they were “born into their correct bodies.”

Little girls, once known as ‘tom boys,’ as well as young lads who aren’t necessarily over-masculine are being encouraged to acquire sex change operations to rectify their physical and mental ‘deficiencies.’ Of course, those aren’t necessarily deficiencies, rather merely over-educated school advisors misdiagnosing the growing, ever-changing stages of life.

Keeping in mind I am not a doctor, nor pretend to be one. But I grew up in an urban environment playing with, and attending school, with classmates plus neighbors who exhibited unusual tendencies in their youth, but wound up successfully seamlessly melding into society, without surgery.

Adding to this psychotic tornado, a bit older portion of our society who are integrating themselves into places once considered sacred ground. All this blossomed from freedom found in The First Amendment.

Growing up in the 1960’s and ‘70’s, nearly every conversation, magazine article, television program, and news item was seasoned with at least a mention of something called “women’s rights.” You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting someone aboard the equal rights/civil rights/women’s rights movements.

Beating the drum to the song of women being able to do anything men can do was a mantra in the “war of the sexes.” Society politely nodded and accepted this slogan as sacred words unable to be disputed.

Sloganeering was rampant from the likes of actresses, female athletes, and reporters, all of whom found a way to integrate stories with messages of how women could only enhance the value of any job, bar none.

It wasn’t unusual to find women working as teachers, cashiers, nurses, desk clerks, secretaries, even school bus drivers. But, soon, we found ourselves with women pilots, lawyers, truck drivers, doctors, police officers, firefighters, corporate executives, and legislators. This change was monumental and positive.

But all is not without problems. Somehow, women became troublesome to the solution and appeared to be greedy in the eyes of anointed rabble rousers. Proving they were able and willing to do the jobs in this newly created arena, women have been, as of late, attacked for some unknown reason.

Men who “identify” as women are now overly anxious to ‘cross over’ to pretend to be women. Of course, they are not women, and short of an industrial mishap or a gonadectomy they have no more transformed into a member of the female species than they suddenly transformed into a sleeper sofa.

These men discovered women and men are different; that in and of itself is not a secret. Men are usually larger, more muscular, and faster than women, all of which contributes to creating an unfair imbalance in favor of men. In other words, freedom to be whatever one wanted to be.

Unfortunately, there are seemingly countless women politicians, reporters, teachers, and pundits that are actually encouraging men to blur the line between males and females. And after years of dedicated and grueling training, women are now finding themselves no longer able to viably compete. But why?

It seems as though all that aforementioned talk about women’s rights wound up being nothing except tripe. Women are currently crying “foul” because they are angry with the newly-identified “men” who are competing against biological women, and winning.

To make things even more confusing, the affected women competitors have misplaced their ire toward the wrong culprit. The powers-that-be in sports have proven to be the guilty parties by turning a blind eye to this miscarriage of fairness.

The men have been granted freedom to compete as any gender they wish without questions or consequences.

Politicians, judges, parents, teachers, school principles, even other students, are invoking the word “freedom” to ensure this bastardization of language is permanently scarred for any so-desired future “conversations” the opposition will impose.

Remember that ‘freedom’ stuff with which we began? Turns out it’s not free for everyone – only for a select few. But why?

With lines blurred between men and women, good and evil, as well as truth and falsehood, accuracy – facts – nothing can be discerned to be real or valid.

Suddenly, even gravity is subject to speculation.

Not Supreme Court Justice
Ketanji Brown Jackson

A recent vice-presidential candidate, Governor Tim Walz implied men were capable of having babies; the latest Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson was unable to define “a woman,” under oath; while former President William Jefferson Clinton had trouble defining what the “meaning of the word ‘is,’ is.” None of that is necessarily high IQ stuff.

As you can see, the bottom line is not necessarily about the truth. Today, the bottom line is the ability, or permission, to question facts presented as the truth. Which leads us to freedom. And that freedom is quickly vanishing.

Remember, “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”

Blow Me

 My fingers are terribly sore from typing so much brilliance for your reading pleasure.  And so, I'm taking another week off and rerunning this gem from April 27, 2015.  I hope you will enjoy it again.  I'll have a new story as soon as the Epsom salts rejuvenate my fingers.  Thank you for visiting!

  As children we are given coloring books and crayons to express ourselves.  Then, we are told to “stay between the lines.”  It seems as though if we color beyond those boundaries, we are somehow bad people.

 

That thought came to me while in a bathroom at a Hardee’s restaurant last week.  I had just finished peeing and was washing my hands when I noticed there was no paper towel dispenser, only one of those useless blow dryers.

 

When I was a little kid, I recall trying to dry my hands with one of those dryers, to no avail.  I recall reading the metal riveted sign that instructed the user to “rub hands vigorously,” again, to no avail.  I wiped my wet hands onto my trousers to reach the desired result.

 

The Hardee’s blow dryer produced similar results – none.  I left the men’s room with wet trousers and semi-dry hands.

 

It wasn’t as much the moist britches as much as it was the instructions that began to bother me.  After fifty years of wiping my hands on my pants I realized I was still following the instructions by vigorously rubbing my hands together.

Suddenly my mind switched gears to 1964.  That was the year the federal guvment mandated seat belts be installed in all cars.

 

I have been using seat belts for over a half-century in cars, airplanes, and on amusement park rides.  I would say I have some experience.

 

Alas, instructions about their use still abound.  On the sun visor is an ugly sticker that gives both written and pictorial directions for anyone who just awoke from a five-decade coma, or an Obama supporter.

 

On every flight I’ve ever taken, the stewardesses or flight chicks, or whatever their current title is, stand in the aisle with a miniature seatbelt.  They plug one end into the other and then demonstrate how to uncouple the pieces.  After roughly 400 visual examples, I have yet to learn anything new.

 

Keeping all this in mind, I feel that each traffic light and every stop sign should have a sign posted that explains the procedure for behavior at that junction.  I’ve witnessed many drivers simply roll through stop signs and drive willy-nilly across lanes of traffic without even slowing.  (Hence the installation of red-light cameras.)

 

In all my years I have never seen a person on a just-landed airplane frantically calling for an air chick to help them unbuckle their seatbelt.

 

Likewise, I have yet to spot a skeleton inside an automobile that spent their final days attempting to undo their safety belt.

 

Why are all those instructions given when we clearly know how to do things? 

 

My suggestion for all this insaneness is to stop with all those nonsensical instructions and spend that time and money on building something that will actually dry hands.

 

I think I’ll invent a paper towel.