I'm taking this week off because of jury duty.  Sorry.  

Blame the county. 

See you next week!

Report Card Time

 

It’s been about a week since President Joseph Robinette Biden marked his first year in office.  Just like countless kids and some adults, he is due a report card to see how well he is performing.

 

Since learning is part of performing daily tasks, this seems like an ideal time to more closely examine Biden’s ability to both perform and learn through his life’s lessons. And there’s no better time like the present to make course corrections and changes, as needed.

 

Report Card for Joseph Robinette Biden, President of the United States of America

 

Economics                              Grade: F        Details: Joe is apparently not well-briefed in handling money, especially money of people other than Joe.

 

 

Inflation                                 Grade: F        Details: Because of his limited knowledge of how over-spending directly affects inflation, he earned a solid F in his handling of inflation.  By the way, his inflation numbers are the highest in over 40-years.

 

 

Public Health                         Grade: D-       Details: Once again, Joe’s ideas of how medicine and health works are poor, at best.  He’s been listening to others in the guvment and apparently has been applying the worst of that information on the entire nation.  Further, Joe appears incapable of making a decision on things like wearing masks, how many shots are really necessary, and whether lockdowns are necessary or effective.

 

 

Geography                             Grade: B        Details: Joe got a B because he seems to have the brain of a homing pigeon inasmuch as he can certainly find Delaware, but has yet to locate Mexico.

 

 

International Relations         Grade: F        Details: With intentions of making a grandiose statement, Joe hastily withdrew American troops from a 20-year conflict in Afghanistan.  His point was muddied by directing the military to simply depart the country without concern of other trapped Americans and American allies.  Selfish.

 

 

Military Strategy                   Grade: D-       Details: With the Afghanistan disaster only six-months old, Joe appears to be overly eager to directly confront Russia in a saber-rattling scenario in Ukraine.  His vision for Taiwan is further questionable as China has also expressed it displeasure over Joe’s threats concerning this Far East danger zone.

 

 

Reaching Across the Aisle    Grade: F        Details: “Antagonistic” is the best word to describe how Joe deals with his cohorts in both Congress and the Senate.  He publicly promises to work multilaterally, but quickly changes his tune when others balk at his hare-brained ideas.

 

 

Conventional Energy            Grade: F        Details: Literally within minutes of his swearing-in, in January 2021, Joe felt it necessary to immediately stop the flow of American crude oil through the Keystone XL pipeline.  This action caused the price of gasoline to rise more than a dollar-per-gallon, with no end in sight.  Also, as a result, he is now begging other countries for foreign oil to replace our inexpensive crude defeating the purpose of world-wide clean air.

 

 

Alternative Energy                Grade: D        Details: Joe has been agog about alternative energy for years, particularly solar and rechargeable sources.  To help Americans, Joe’s administration is offering up to $10,000 for people to purchase electric cars; unfortunately, those e-vehicles cost upwards of $90,000 – far out of the range of the average American who cannot afford food, much less an overly expensive vehicle.

 

 

Build Back Better                  Grade F          Details: This campaign is best described as “goofy.”  He has been relying on this nebulous catch phrase to attempt to rally the country for such inane things as college debts and creating new, higher taxes at a time when the economy is sinking like the Titanic.

 

 

Infrastructure                        Grade D         Details: Joe seems to have a problem conceptually understanding the link between inflation and the value of the dollar.  His infrastructure plan includes child day care, railroad maintenance, and bridge and road repair.  There seems to be an overlap in the bridge and road repair from the Obama administration who supposedly earmarked billions of dollars for those repairs.

 

 

Candor                                   Grade F          Details: Besides having imaginary friends, Joe is happy to invent schools, degrees, accomplishments, and false accusations.  He fabricated a tale about a train conductor he allegedly saw every weekend, a fellow named “Corn Pop,” and his stellar grades from law school; unfortunately, he did not graduate in the top of his class – rather he found himself at the bottom.  He further tried to distance himself from known, confirmed racists such as the late Sen. Robert Byrd, who he personally eulogized.  This is especially disturbing because he enjoys pointing his finger at anyone disagreeing with him and calling them “racist.”

 

 

Athletic Abilities                    Grade D         Details: Joe has publicly demonstrated his athletic abilities on the playground with aplomb during a bicycle ride with his wife and Secret Service Agents; for that he deserves a “C.”  Alas, he fell UP the stairs of Air Force One – three times.  For that, he gets an “F.”  I averaged that out to a “D.”

 

 

Care of Animals                    Grade D-        Details: Upon his inauguration, Joe introduced two German Shepherds he had raised in Delaware as a Senator.  One of those was poorly trained and bit several Secret Service Agents; suddenly the dogs vanished without much explanation.  He now has another German Shepherd puppy.  He should realize that dogs are not items which can simply be disposed of.

 

 

As is evident, Joe has many shortcomings in his life that are not conducive to a strong leader of a once-strong country.  It’s clear he needs remedial attention lest he only make things in America, worse.  It’s time to reevaluate his skills and abilities.

Old Switcheroo

 
This year will mark more than three decades of not digging a shallow grave for my sainted wife.

 

You see, she has so, so many assets to include cooking, shopping, cleaning, helping with Smokey the Cat, and removing stubborn stains from my clothes.  On the other hand, I have many assets as well.  Not cooking, not shopping, not cleaning, not helping with Smokey, and finding those challenging stains for my clothes.

 

As is evident, we make a near-perfect couple.  Until assisting with home projects, that is.

 

Somehow, we moved from a house the size of a matchbox to a comfortable home with numerous bedrooms, several bathrooms, living room, dining room, and sunroom, and garage.  And while this sizeable space would seem to be perfect on the surface, it is deceiving.

 

As I just pointed out, it is sizeable, but whenever we are attempting to tackle home projects, we seem to run out of two critical things: light and patience.

 

Although lousy with windows, it often appears as though we are living inside a cave.  Never enough light to see anything, especially the project-at-hand.

 

The first steps to any project are acquiring necessary parts, important tools, and enough adult beverages to last throughout the project.  But also necessary is an auxiliary light source.

 

Because I realize I’m always short on light I have drop lights, flashlights, and even those headlights with elastic bands that fit around your skull to make you appear as though you’re heading into a coal mine.

 

Several years ago, I purchased a set of three under-the-counter LED low-voltage lights.  It’s a pretty nifty set in that they seem to disappear when installed yet produce enough useable light to perform your kitchen duties.

 

They “disappeared” because I ran the wires through the cupboards and down the wall with clips and strategically place holes.  It is a sweet setup that has been helping us see since their installation.  I opted for LED lights because they are supposed to last 10,000 hours.

 

To preclude you from breaking out the old Bowmar calculator, leaving those LED lights on 24-hours a day, 365 days a year would only be 8,700 hours.  But I digress.

 

A few days ago, these neato lights began flickering – disco-like.  Since I installed them, I knew the problem.  It seems as though Smokey did something to them; if not him, it was my sainted wife.  Case closed.

 

Detective work akin to Lt. Joe Kenda was performed at which time I discovered it was the on/off switch that was the culprit.

 

Because this light set was likely made in the country that brought you COVID-19 – China – I quickly realized why no American store on the East Coast had one. I turned to the internet and found one in a jiffy.

 

These switches were sold in pairs, and cost $1.65 for the pair; shipping on the other hand was $3.64.

 

The package arrived quickly enough, and the swapping procedure began.  Out came the necessary parts, important tools, and enough adult beverages to finish the simple exchange of the faulty switch.

 

I dutifully cut the zip ties that held the wires in place and began to systematically unplug the components to make them easier to reach rather than attempting to work at shoulder level.

 

Without this handy light set available for illumination, I spent some time figuring out who could help me.

 

All those accolades about my sainted wife are true, unfortunately she has trouble holding a flashlight, and I’m not sure why.

 

During previous episodes when I was under the sink repairing the garbage disposal, and running antenna cable for our TV, I fully expected her to hold onto the flashlight which she would IDEALLY point toward the job-at-hand.  Of course, I was wrong.

 

My sainted wife pointing the 
flashlight under the kitchen sink

That powerful flashlight beam was pointed in every imaginable direction including at the neighbor’s house, the bedroom ceiling, beneath a flowerpot, and even her hand which led to a monologue about her upcoming nail appointment.

 

This is where I had to unplug a table lamp from the spare bedroom to continue with this operation.

 

It took longer to replace the tools and lamp after this modest task was completed than it did to actually replace the switch.  But there is a moral to this story:

 

If it doesn’t involve cooking, shopping, cleaning, helping with Smokey the Cat, and removing stubborn stains from clothes, do the job yourself unless you enjoy sleeping on the sofa with the cat.

Get Rid of the “Adults”

 America is currently traversing some very rough waters.  Over the past year we discovered we were being led by a newly-elected president who wound up being a half-wit.

 

During the 2020 Presidential campaign we heard the media twist and massage the Left’s nefarious rants about then-President Donald Trump.  Movie stars, actors, musicians, other politicians, and the average moron climbed aboard the Hate Trump train vilifying the first man in decades to return America to a proud nation.

 

Under Mr. Trump’s term, our nation began heading in a direction not seen for four different administrations – a direction in which our national future appeared to be bright and promising.

 

Even following the racist Obama eight-years, President Trump overcame the bubbling racism spouted by both Barack and his equally anti-White wife, Michelle.  The division between the races could be felt like a curtain of unrest hanging over the United States.

 

With Blacks carrying a deep-seated animosity and a perceived sleight because of their color, professional race pimps seized the opportunity to create havoc out of thin air for the sake of “awareness.”

 

Suddenly everyone seemingly everywhere needed to make people aware of their respective colors, races, sexes, and likes or dislikes.   If some one wanted to be a woman rather than a man, they could with little more than the snap of their fingers, and so on.

 

No matter the issue du jour, it had to be the result of Donald Trump.  Amen.  If you were born Black, it was Trump’s fault; if you were born White, it was Trump’s fault; if you were failing algebra, it was Trump’s fault; if you were wealthy, you and Trump stole that money from the poor and Blacks.

 

And so it went for four-years of President Trump’s term.  Figure in the utterly false accusations of Russia interference, desire for environmental catastrophes, depletion of natural resources, and international detente failures, kept the daily news chock full o’ fake news.

 

In an effort to assist, social media was delighted to oblige the mainstream media in silencing any and all dissent.  That concerted effort was semi-effective toward swaying opinions of the weak minded among us.

 

Not to be left out, our Latino brethren got into the fray by implying long-standing immigration laws were racist, thereby creating a new victim class – just in case we ran out.

 

And then, when the jig was up about the lies regarding Russian collusion, the world was introduced to something called COVID-19.

 

COVID-19 was a newly-discovered flu virus that spread throughout the world.  Likely beginning in a Wuhan, China laboratory, COVID-19 was quickly dubbed a pandemic.

 

The media was at it again, policing every word that was said, printed, or even implied, by President Trump and his administration.  It was easy to do because no one knew anything about COVID-19.  Except Joe Biden’s puppeteers, that is.

 

President Trump’s inherited COVID crisis was met head-on with a brilliant attack plan called Operation Warp Speed.  This effort was coordinated with several pharmaceutical companies to quickly bring about a viable vaccine to save as many lives as possible, as rapidly as possible.

 

This synchronized plan created several practical vaccines.  Unfortunately, Presidential-candidate Joe Biden and his VP-pick Kamala Harris just as quickly publicly denounced the vaccine as dangerous which precluded them from personally taking the shot.

 

That very public display of arrogance and insolence sat deeply with voters who, until this day, refuse to take the stab because Biden and Harris refused to get one. 

 

Leading up to the 2020 elections, Joe Biden bad-mouthed President Trump as a liar, incompetent, racist, divisive, and dangerous for America.  It didn’t matter that President Trump’s stellar economy and international outreach resulted in unbelievable stability across the planet, but also unimaginable wealth generated by common-sense tax cuts.

 

Clearly Americans were tired of their newfound prosperity and allegedly elected Biden, who is said to have received more votes than any other person in the history of American elections.

 

Biden’s rare campaign appearances were limited to vilifying President Trump along with his “mishandling” of the COVID crisis.  These weak campaign showings were apparently enough to drive the populace to opt for a man with limited communication skills and waning mental acuity.  Alas.

 

Literally seconds into his term, Biden proudly signed Executive Order after Executive Order nullifying President Trump’s much-applauded accomplishments.  Oil pipelines, border protections, economic bonanzas, and the like were declared forbidden with the stroke of Biden’s pen.  All these pen strokes were damaging to our national security and economic stability, but what the heck – it erased the last vestiges of Donald Trump.

 

People cheered that “the adults were back in office.”  They were wrong.

 

What America got was the ol’ bait and switch tactic used by smarmy merchants far and wide.  The voters were shown a seasoned politician who could remind them of their long-fondly remembered uncle – kind, soft-spoken, and full of knowledge from the school of hard knocks.

 

What they got was a senile old coot with the inability to read a teleprompter, think on his feet, or even tell the truth.

 

But it’s not the voters I blame for this dumpster fire ruining our once-proud country.

Dr. Jill smartly sporting fishnet stockings

 

Each night, President Joe Biden likely climbs into bed with his wife, Dr. Jill Biden.  She’s not really a “doctor” because she cannot write a prescription for even medical marijuana.  Still she wants to be called “Dr. Jill.”  Uh, huh.

 

If Dr. Jill is so smart she should be able to recognize the severe deficiencies – both mental and physical – suffered by her husband.  Remember President Biden falling up the stairs of Air Force One?

 

In any event, it is clearly Dr. Jill that has a duty to forego her lofty, desirable position of First Lady to change her historical title to Whistle Blower and expose this dangerous façade her husband is foisting upon a once great and revered nation.

 

One dishonest person inside the White House is enough.

Place Your Bets

 Santa Claus was especially good to us this year, bringing all sorts of generous, useful gifts.

 

So it was with great enthusiasm that on December 26^th I headed to the grocery store to score a family-size box of crispy rice cereal.

 

As utilitarian as Santa is, my sainted wife ended up scoring, among other thoughtful gifts, a robot floor cleaner.  Yep, because she wanted one.  And hence the rice cereal.

 

You see, we have permanent custody of Smokey the Cat, a Korat breed kitty, that is chock full of wonderful assets not normally found in cats. One of those special assets is supposed to be a Korat’s lack of shedding or shedding a lot.

Smokey the Cat ready for action

 

Several times a day we police the floors in pursuit of clumps of what appear to be other critters; in fact, those are merely fur sheddings from Smokey.  Mike Lindel may be interested in manufacturing pillows from these bales of errant fur that aren’t supposed to exist.

 

To assist with this regular task my sainted wife pled with Santa for one of those miracle-like sweepers.  Before she made out her Good Girl List she conferred with a neighbor, I’ll call “Tess,” because her name is Tess.

 

Tess extolled the virtues of this one particular brand of floor robot inasmuch as she has one, as well as two dogs and a cat.  In other words, she likely cultivates more pet hair than we do, exponentially.

 

Her praises for this 22^nd Century tool spoke volumes.  Armed with that inside information we forwarded my sainted wife’s list to the North Pole for consideration.

 

Neatly boxed and wrapped, this floor robot arrived on Christmas Day in great shape apparently ready for action.

 

While I was at the grocery store, my sainted wife followed the detailed instructions and began the orientation process, and the scene was not unlike changing uranium rods in a nuclear reactor.

 

She was still mumbling and reading upon my return, attempting to make sense of the additional wireless remote control.

 

Meanwhile, Smokey was busy napping on his cat tree, readying himself for dinner, then another nap before bedtime.

 

I opened the box of cereal and generously sprinkled them about the dining room, living room, and kitchen.  This was going to be the proverbial acid test.

 

After the “green” charging light appeared we knew it was time for the adventures to begin.

 

A quick push of the all-important “middle button” sent this technological marvel into action.  A quiet whirr of the outboard whiskers made it appear as though it was gathering debris from a close proximity with aplomb.

 

Watching this motorized creature wend its way to and fro on the hardwood floor became entertaining if not mesmerizing.

 

Soon it reached the “planted” debris, using its whiskers to gather, then push, the cereal toward its plastic mouth.  This process was so fascinating that we actually began wagering on if and when it would reach our bait cereal.

 

It didn’t take long for Smokey to hear the whirr and waken to examine the goings-on.  Creeping closer and closer he wisely watched rather than stalk this new household tool.

 

Being the inaugural sweeping we all soon tired from the repetitive excitement.  The robot was sent back to its black cradle that serves as its charger.  There, it went into a charging mode, eventually switching to a sleep mode.  The excitement was over, if only temporarily.

 

Tomorrow we will attempt to use the wet mop feature, again betting on speed and cleaning abilities.

 

Smokey ate some hard, crunchy food before going back to his well-deserved nap.  And all was well until the next sweeping episode.

 

Thank you, Tess and Santa.