During a shopping episode in the beginning of July, when the
outdoor temps hovered around 104 degrees, you were able to find the much
in-demand Halloween costumes on the store shelves.
The first week in October was when those same stores switched
their Halloween outfits off the shelves in favor of Thanksgiving business. Ceramic turkeys, tablecloths adorned with
leaves, and orange and brown oven mitts were everywhere. Until the week before Thanksgiving, that is.
My sainted wife and I were desperately searching for
accoutrements for a Thanksgiving Day dinner we were hosting.
For the New Jerseyites in the gallery, accoutrements are
odds and ends, bits and pieces that are used to accessorize. You’re welcome.
Although we own several calendars, we were slow on the
uptake for when that infamous Thursday in November really occurred. And it was much sooner than we thought.
Sure, we had the frozen turkey, potatoes, green beans, corn
bread stuffing, plus the kind I like – good stuffing, haymans, chestnuts, and
cranberry business. But, we needed
cardboard plates, turkey-adorned napkins, and other stuff – accoutrements –
that we were going to summarily throw away after dinner.
On the Monday before Thanksgiving, all the stores proudly
had on display, you guessed it, Christmas trees!
After systematically parading up one aisle and down another,
we finally found a clerk who wasn’t busy on their cellular phone. I politely asked where the Thanksgiving
accoutrements were.
Yes, I had to explain to them the definition, too. After their bewildered look vanished, they
uttered, “We put that stuff away last week; ain’t got none.”
Alas, we were nearly forced to exit this establishment
empty-handed but for the grace of God.
Tucked away in the clearance section were two packs of cardboard dinner
plates, one package of napkins, and what appeared to be cardboard serving
bowls. Not terribly classy, but out
company wasn’t either.
We made our way to the checkout counter to pay for our
blessed supply of paper products only to find a clerk substituting Christmas
candy for Valentine’s Day chocolates.
Adjacent to the cash register was a display of calendars for
the upcoming year. I quickly grabbed one
and thumbed through it to ensure the pages were in the correct order and no
dates were rearranged to put holidays out of order.
It seems as though merchants are so anxious to make the big
bucks during the Christmas season, they begin thee season weeks earlier and
earlier each year. That may be good for
the merchants but, not for people like me.
I like to buy my snow tires in the winter, not July. And if I’m going to the beach in August, I
want to be able to buy swim trunks in August, not February.
So, if you need St. Patrick’s Day hats, shamrocks, and other
accoutrements, get busy buying it now before December ends, lest you’ll be out
of luck. Get it?
