It should come as no surprise that everyone wants “the
best.” I don’t recall anyone bragging
about buying “almost the best” of anything.
That would be akin to bragging about coming in second which is being the
first loser.
Having traveled around the entire country and Europe, I have
witnessed both “the best,” and “the worst,” in so many things.
Last week, I was maneuvering The Shore when I realized I
needed fuel. Pulling in to a filling
station, I couldn’t help but notice the blue and white banner declaring this
establishment sold “the world’s best coffee.”
Forget the lottery tickets – I was flush with enough good
luck to enjoy a truly heavenly cup of Joe.
It was that blue and white sign that convinced me to make my purchase an
extra-large one to savor all the way back up the peninsula.
The first half mile home was way too hot to sample but,
after about a five-mile gap, I was able to relish the aroma and flavor. This was easy to do since I drink my coffee
black - unadulterated by sweeteners and cream and artificial flavors.
At this point I
nearly shorted out the dashboard of my truck when I spat out a warm mouthful of
“the world’s best coffee.”
Keep in mind that “the best” is a subjective term relative
to the taste tester. It is not like a
NASCAR event where the fastest wins. Amen.
On The Shore, we have seafood available all around us hence,
the name. Seafood doesn’t get any
fresher than when the fish, clams, oysters, and crustaceans are off-loaded for
preparation at local restaurants or docks.
Nearly everyone with a pulse will attest to owning “the best” recipe for
crab cakes and, to avoid any future conflicts, they’re all the best. Crusty, on the other hand, would walk
barefoot over a mile of broken glass to dine at Red Lobster, which he considers
“the best” seafood. As I said, it’s
about subjectiveness… But, I digress.
At this point in the trip I was too far away to empty my
freshly filled gas tank to hang a u-turn to issue a complaint to an uncaring
coffee peddler. But, I did recall that in
my younger years – when pterodactyls roamed the skies – a Maxwell House coffee ad
that stated in its jingle that is was, “The best coffee money could buy.” It was abundantly clear that my pit stop brew
was not contrived from Maxwell House coffee.
I distinctly remember A&P’s Eight-O’Clock coffee being
superior to all others; I now believe Dunkin Donuts serves “the best.” Again, it is subjective.
Still, there are other brands of goods that tout being “the
best.” TCBY claims their yogurt is
second to none, and it seems as though all motor oils are “the best.” Thus the name The Country's Best Yogurt.
Today, though, we hear words such as better, safer, warmer,
more durable, and longest-lasting, trying to act as substitutes for “the
best.” They do not.
How about a little truth in advertising? If something is “the best,” it should be
judged and noted as being judged by a panel, contest, group of three-hundred
first uncles, or whatever. We should not
have to take the word of a gas station manager who merely had a spare banner
lying on the floor in the stockroom.
Maybe I will take my complaint back to that filling station,
along with a cup of really good coffee that is better than “the best.”
