It’s Monday morning, October 22,
2018, and I’m attempting to read through this seriously Left-leaning fish
wrapping, AKA: USA Today, from last week.
Therein is a brief article
titled, “1 in 88 quadrillion: So there’s a chance…”
That article is all about the current
excitement generated by the big bucks lottery games, namely Powerball and Mega
Millions.
Because Americans have become
dumber, no one has been able to pick a handful of numbers to match those drawn
on Tuesday and Friday nights for the Mega Millions game, Wednesday and Saturday
nights are reserved for the Powerball game.
Last Friday night’s Mega Millions
drawing left the grand jackpot of $900,000,000, lying on the table; no one
correctly selected all the numbers. The
next jackpot is over $1,600,000,000.
 |
| A small representative amount of money |
Even better, the next Powerball
drawing is expected to have a jackpot worth nearly $500,000,000.
These cash pots are so large
because there are so many numbers from which to select thereby making a winning
pick’s odds astronomical. Every drawing
that goes un-won rolls over to the next drawing.
Of course the mere size of these
jackpots prompted the USA Today rag – er, esteemed newspaper – to write the
same ol’ tired facts in a new story.
USA Today’s take is the fact that
if you are fortunate enough to win one of these games, perhaps you’ll be
fortunate enough to win both. Winning
both, without others, would garner you well over two billion dollars; that’s $2,100,000,000.
Of course if you’re lucky enough
to win both of those games of chance, you might also receive a phone call from
the Vatican
But this lame USA Today article
uses the familiar comparisons to enormous odds, such as being “258 times more
likely to be struck by lightning this year” than winning one of these
lotteries. The news writer also
gravitates to the astronomical odds of 1 in 3,748,067, of being killed by a
shark.
However, if you’re like me, the
chances of both a lightning strike and shark assassination drop to zero because
I’m not that stupid to stand outside wielding a metal flag pole during a
thunder storm, and I don’t swim in the ocean.
If a shark can make its way into my toilet, I’ll have another story to
write.
Elsewhere, television news
programs are scouring the streets asking the “average” citizen about their
plans these folks have for any winnings.
Paying off the house, buying a
anew car, putting money away for their kids’ college education, and donating to
charity, top out the worst of the worst.
There is so much money on the
table that you could spend a $1 a second for over forty-years and not have
spent the entire jackpot of the Mega Millions prize. Just for your information, that’s over $106,400
per day for four decades.
The kicker in this newspaper
story is contained in one of its final paragraphs. President Donald Trump needed to be drawn
into this exposé. “Hitting the jackpot
is a tad less likely than having President Donald Trump follow you on Twitter
if he selects an account randomly from all accounts (about 1 in 261,000,000
tries), according to Cleveland19.com.”
I now hope President Trump is
wagering a few bucks on these jackpots, and I hope he wins. He could finally begin building his sensible
Mexican wall and generate some real drama.
