You Ain’t So Smart

For many years now, citizens of the United States of America have been begging for criminals to make them victims.

Growing up, the populace of America has had its common sense removed to create a nation of sniveling sheep.

Although sheep are good for keeping meadows trimmed and producing wool, they also serve as food for wily wolves.

Allow me to explain.  Colleges and universities began teaching love and acceptance throughout the 1960’s and ‘70’s.  Included in that brain-washing era was the fact that criminals who committed horrible crimes should be spared the death penalty.

The simple reason for this nonsensical wave of humanity was that the criminals might be innocent.  Although they were subjected to numerous trials and re-trials and appeals, they needed to be spared.

Along the way, methods of executions have been altered, too.  Some effective ways to exact a quick death upon people have included a firing squad, hanging, and electrocution.  Because these tried and true exercises in the reduction of recidivism were criticized as “inhumane,” they were eliminated.

Super-smart human rights activists then decided it was time to make those miscreants’ trip to see God a painless one.  In an effort to eliminate the death penalty altogether by hamstringing the legal system, they offered an idea.

Why not use lethal injection?  The same way family pets are “put down,” those dangerous, non-repentant killers would be injected with a cocktail of drugs that would stop body functions – including heart pumping – to effectively and painlessly exterminate society’s vermin.

But after years of legal wrangling, those activists that so desperately wanted this method employed now want it rescinded.

The good news is that sane people insist it remain as a viable way to exact permanent justice upon the undesirable; the bad news is that the pharmaceutical companies that provide those drugs are now refusing to supply them for such purposes.

What to do?

Throughout those decades when America’s sheep felt everyone – EVERYONE – has a right to life (except innocent aborted babies,) and they were going to flex their muscles to demonstrate their power.

Part of that power display included forcing people to wear seatbelts, install fire alarms, wear helmets while riding bicycles, and quit smoking.

All are noble efforts that use the carrot and stick approach to change behavior, alas intrusive.

Being the problem-solver of most social issues, I see a simple and effective solution to this elimination of criminal problems.

To circumvent our nation’s sheep herds, I suggest the guvment wheel pallets of cigarettes into the cells of death row prisoners.

It seems the guvment has been crying about the gravity of cigarette smoking on both the smoker, and second-hand inhaler, alike.  In other words, if you smoke you’ll die.

This way, even if the prisoners don’t smoke, everyone on death row will be long deceased, first of second hand smoke, long before the appeals process is nearly complete.

You’re welcome, America.