I Be Mistaken

In 1980, a movie hit the big screen that parodied all the disaster films of the ‘70’s.  This particular one is Airplane!, which a quarter century later I still being quoted for some of the funniest lines.

In one scene, the passengers discover they were served tainted fish, and are now concerned about their well-being.  Barbara Billingsly – the mother on Leave It To Beaver – winds up being the interpreter for the following urban slang conversation:

First Jive Dude:
Shit man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?

Second Jive Dude:
Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.

First Jive Dude:
I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?

Second Jive Dude:
UH...

First Jive Dude:
Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.

Second Jive Dude:
Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.

First Jive Dude:
Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.

Second Jive Dude:
Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.

All this demonstrates that a simple conversation can quickly become indecipherable by invoking talk not widely used, or understood, by educated people.

The other day, a woman in the grocery store called me “fat.”  A cashier corrected me when she said I was called “phat.”

An ardent search for more urban words found a few amusing ones that deserve sharing for sympathy, if for nothing else.  Pay attention; you know who you are.

Ratchet:  a diva, especially one from an urban area or of lower socioeconomic status, who incorrectly believes she is every man's dream

Rendezbooze — a designated time and place to drink with a group of friends

Typeractive — someone who's overly talkative in emails or text

 

Karaoke filibuster — the act of preventing others from participating in karaoke by choosing an extraordinarily long song

 

Ludwigvanquixote — someone who is fanatical, especially someone with delusions of grandeur or Chicken Little-type paranoia

 

Designated drunk — the individual who drinks all offers of free drinks sent to the designated driver

 

Earjacking — 1) eavesdropping on a conversation you have no business hearing; 2) forcing your friends to listen to (bad) music they don't want to hear

 

No thanks are necessary.  Please use these wisely, Grasshopper.

 

 

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