A few years ago, I wrote about Shirley Ellis, the woman who
recorded “The Name Game.” In case you’re
too young, or have been in a coma for nearly five decades, that song was a
great hit that used people’s names in an evolving way to rhyme, thereby making
up the song.
It was terrific fun at parties and just dull times around
the house or car. Some names worked
better than others. Still it was – as I
already said – fun.
Names are things that are assigned to us as birth, unlike
nicknames that are usually earned by the receiver.
A few parents tried to be creative with name such as Moon
Beam, Afternoon, and Tuesday. Tuesday
was the name of a starlet, Tuesday Weld, who is very easy on the eyes. Nonetheless, it is more of a stage name than
a real one, as she was born Susan Ker Weld.
But, I digress.
Then, there are those monikers that are assigned by parents
who think they are educated but, demonstrate otherwise when filling-out those
birth certificates.
Names of places the children are conceived are often used as
a way to memorialize those events. Cheyenne , Bronx, Portland , Peru , and England Niagara
Falls
Most people have okay names until you see them in writing. “Precis” was supposed to be “Precious;”
“Caige” was supposed to be “Cage;” and “Kamile,” was supposed to be
“Camille.” Why these names were written
like this in the first place is conjecture – perhaps people being artsy, maybe
just ignorant on how to spell. In any
case, the kids are destined for a life constantly spelling their first name for
everybody, everywhere.
Sometimes, you find names that are okay, but still
ponderous. Autumn, Chevy, Feline, and
Jurie all fit into my ‘ponderous’ category of “What in Hell Were They
Thinking?” It could be Jurie was
intended to be “Jewelry,” however exercising politeness will preclude us from
getting the true answer to this question.
Wrigley, Chow, Kiwi, and Cheese, are a few actual names that
even sound tasty. But, who would want to
name their offspring after a chewing gum, or even a form of processed
milk? Beside the point, four families
did bless their kids with these names.
Really.
It seems as though along with conception locations, names
for kiddies also come from holidays, games, movies, and commercial brand
names. Carol, Holly, Borden, Chanel, and
Alyx are some of the tamer externally inspired names. Still, a few names like Sundae, Cypher,
Dierra, and Aunisty, are baffling.
Does “Honesty” need to be spelled “Honestii?” And, do we really need to spell “Symphony” as
“Symphoni,” “Symphonie,” and “Symphani?”
I think not.
Life is hard enough without trying to deal with funky names
and funky spellings thereof.
Besides, just try playing “The Name Game,” with Shyanne or
Aunisty. The fun will evaporate,
quickly.
