What a treat we have for you
today.
This week’s story is not just
special, it is special special. Yep,
it’s so good we labeled it special twice.
In honor of Earth Day, which
rolls around every April 22nd, this special special story addresses this
gala and actually helps solve some major problems.
In the 1970’s a fellow named Paul
Ehrlich proudly, but sadly, announced the Earth was freezing. After years of astute research, Ehrlich
claimed Mother Earth was quickly becoming a giant walk-in freezer, and the
entire population would be dead within a few years.
National magazines and newspapers
climbed aboard his ice train o berate everyone who disagreed with his astute
postulation. His face dotted television
shows while his books flew off the shelves.
Of course, he was wrong. We are still alive and really sweating during
the summer months, and have been doing so for centuries. Unfortunately, those ninnies who embraced
Ehrlich’s hare-brained postulation, refused to be wrong.
After realizing the Earth wasn’t
freezing, they claimed it was warming, instead.
Those changes were grabbed by the
freezing crowd, likely because they were now perspiring as a result of summer
weather.
But when the sweating changed into freezing
again, something new was needed to latch onto.
That is when “climate change” became vogue.
Climate change, as a term, is
sufficiently vague to describe, well, nothing except weather.
The good news was that when it
was hot outside, it was because of global warming; when it was cold outside, it
was due to global cooling. Wow.
Today, however, we now have
esteemed researchers and scientists such as Bill Nye, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,
Albert Gore, Tilda Swinton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Harrison Ford, Matt Damon,
Olivia Munn, Jessica Alba, Don Cheadle, America Ferrera, and Michael C. Hall,
all of whom believe climate change is something that should be addressed NOW!
Too bad none of those
aforementioned walk or ride bicycles to climate change conferences, or are
actual researchers or scientists.
Ocasio-Cortez said our home
planet only has 12-years left before something really bad happens. She made that juvenile statement on the U.S.
House of Representative floor inasmuch as she is a newly-elected Congressperson. The brain trust is clearly dwindling.
AOC, as common sense people call
Ocasio-Cortez, just had an epiphany she needed to share with stupid Americans:
Immigrants are leaving Central and South America to come to the United States
Not to be left out, USAToday, a really
good fish-wrapping national “newspaper,” printed an Onion-like story that
pollen sufferers could blame their sneezing and runny nose maladies on climate
change. Of course.
Among other reasons for climate
change include cow flatulence, exhaling, not enough trees, too many trees, the
internal combustion engine, burning coal, and burning oil, are to blame, all of
which are man-made. By the way, I know
cow farting is not man-made, but we should take the blame anyway. Bad humans.
Always overlooked reasons are
volcanic eruptions, orbital changes, solar radiation, and crustal plate
movement, all of which are out of anyone’s control. Oh, no.
So it was on this special special
Earth Day that I felt such FACTS be published to help the nitwits spouting lies
and their own manufactured “truths.”
Bottom line: If we had the power
to change the climate of planet Earth, we would likely first focus on
tornadoes, hurricanes, and excessive precipitation, and that would be special
special. We can’t change any of it,
though.
It’s about time to get on with
our lives and plan on living more than 12 additional years.
Happy Get A Life Day!
