Revelations

This is one of those crazy times of the year.  Kwanzaa has just ended and no one actually knows or cares.  We also face that special task of taking down our Christmas decorations.  For you heathens, that would be your holiday or winter festival decorations.

In any case, since we dodged that Mayan calendar bullet, we must get serious about life continuing.

There is really no special time table by which to be guided when they should be removed and stored for the balance of the year until we re-erect them after Thanksgiving; shopping malls will have to store them until mid-September, their official Christmas season inception.

Since I have no place to stash the outdoor illumination merriment and gadgets, I just leave them up year-round.  When neighbors ask about my intention of disassembly of my private Disney World I simply tell them I just started decorating early for next year.  ‘Tomorrow’ is one of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

But this is also the time of year we begin returning those misfit gifts we received with such enthusiasm just a few weeks ago.

Unfortunately, too many stores require a receipt when either returning or exchanging gifts which often results in that re-gifting thing.  Re-gifting is an activity that takes those special presents that arrived without the benefit of a store tag or receipt and turns them into next year’s gifts that will eventually wind-up making their way back to you in about a decade.

Some of those special presents include winter sock with individual pockets for your toes.  They were popular in the 1970’s but still arrive via the North Pole to someone you likely know.

Then there is the ever-popular Sham Wow!  The Sham Wow! is a super absorbent rag that can allegedly sop up Lake Michigan.  Let us not forget that much-desirable Snuggie which is a giant sleeping bag with arm holes that is designed to keep its wearer toasty warm.  Why not simply make a Snuggie from a Sham Wow! – the Snug-Wow!  It would allow you to loaf on the sofa like a giant caterpillar, without those annoying bathroom breaks.

Many places of employment and social organizations traditionally conduct what is called Secret Santa.  This event involves people picking a name out of a hat and, without disclosing the recipient’s identity, buys a gift for and secretly enjoys the glee that the specially selected gift brings.

Enter the fruit cake.  It seems the fruit cake is another of those gifts that makes its way into the attic until next year, only to be re-gifted to the boss.  This is likely the reason offices and such hold Secret Santa drawings.  Here’s a www. easternshorefishandgame.com freebie: If the fruit cake you just got has an expiration date of 1947 or prior, do not eat it.

It’s sad the yule season has to end, but I suppose that a respite from the lights, gifts, banquets of foods and desserts, and general revelry is not a bad thing.  It also makes us anxious for next year keeping things special.

Now I must excuse myself as my sainted wife is ready with her sewing machine and restless to get going on that Snug-Wow! brainstorm.  After all, we don’t have the receipt for either.


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