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Monday, March 22, 2021

Cancel This

Since I heard President Joseph Robinette “Plugs” Biden was eager to open the southern border to the United States I renewed an earlier effort to learn Spanish.

 

My sainted wife and I used to live in a “mixed” neighborhood – meaning people naturally gravitated there to live because they liked the environs which had mass transportation nearby, and houses they could afford.

 

We, as a collective area, never giggled in joy, nor groused in anger, over the new incoming residents.  We politely invited all to participate in events, help the civic association, join one another at block party events, and spend leisure time together.

 

In all those years, the Spanish-speaking natives tried to learn and speak English, and so I tried to learn Spanish.  It only seemed decent.  We all got good laughs at how we sometimes struggled to communicate with aplomb, often asking for the price of a basket of clams rather than offering a pleasant greeting.  But we tried.

 

It was as if we lived on a modest island together, helping each other with home projects and auto repairs, aiding in personal comfort in bad times and celebrating good, alike.

 

We had men and women, straights and gays, black, brown and white, besides young and old residents;  We were a microcosm of the United Nations, only more efficient and inclusive.

 

It was a sad day when we moved away from that area because we left not only a house, but an entire lifestyle.

 

So it is with trepidation that I watched the news only to learn our old neighborhood was something many in today’s world are attempting to destroy, and I’m not sure why.

 

Suddenly, everyone is offended by something, anything, and everything.

 

Whether it’s Nabisco’s Oreo tweets about “Trans people exist,” or a Mister Potato Head being offensive, I’m pretty well lost.

 

Of course trans people exist, but you’re going to have to work a little harder at how Mister Potato Head – or Señor Potato Head in the Biden White House – is detrimental to America.

 

Mr. Potato Head wannabe

I had a Mister Potato Head as a kid, but we had to use real potatoes, not plastic replicas with perforations.  I can’t recall anything I might consider racist about that toy, but if it offends you, don’t buy one.

 

Just as with Oreo cookies.  They summarily rubbed my nose in a battle that doesn’t have anything to do with me; I’m not a Cocker Spaniel that just peed on the carpet.  But if Nabisco folks feel their political interests are that important, I’ll buy Hydrox cookies from here on in; let the trans people buy Oreos.  You’re welcome.

 

Last week, on Read Across America Day, March 2nd, a panicky American populace melted down for some stupid reason.  By way of background, Read Across America Day was established to honor a fellow, Theodore Geisel, with the pen name Dr. Seuss, who had written tons of books geared toward children.

 

My sister was a big fan of Dr. Seuss books and learned to read with them.  But now, grave insanity has crept into the heads of idle people.  These kooks proudly announced their magical discovery of something racist in these books.  That was good enough for Plugs Biden to not mention Mr. Geisel’s name or his pen name.

 

The rest of the story is that Read Across America is celebrated in early March because it is the birthday of Mr. Geisel.  It’s a sad time in our country.

 

Not to be outdone, a company selling carbonated soft beverages - Coca Cola - had an internal training slide that instructs viewers to be "less white, less arrogant, less certain, less defensive, less ignorant and more humble."  Not the way I heard that old ad campaign about teaching "the world to sing."


Out of the sky, a new catch phrase, “systemic racism,” fell upon only White Americans, because ironically, those lobbing these charges are, themselves, racists.  Painting an entire segment of society with a broad brush is childish.  But not unlike that old word “Abracadabra,” the word “Racist” conjures up preconceived results from people trying to distract from the real issue.

 

None of this “cancel culture” is good for anybody, and is only leading us down a sordid path of self-destruction.  Arguing with nitwits that lodge these stupid, baseless complaints should be met with a firm and honest, “Shut up.”  And the capitalist market will eventually sort out the winners and losers in this contorted race to lose.

 

Each day thousands of people from Central and South America trudge across our border, both legally and illegally, and others float across the waters from Cuba in inner tubes to come here. 

 

They’re not coming to America because we finally put a nail in the coffin of Dr. Seuss, or because Mister Potato Head is, at last, complying with some unknown new standard.  


They are coming here because this country is the finest example of inclusiveness in the world.  And now is the time those whiners should look into the mirror to decide where the real problem is.